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cherries1105

Please help we're trying not to give up

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Hello so after my last post things were going well between me and my cousin boyfriend but now things have worsened. I care about him so much and he loves me too and we don't want to break up. I need advice ....

How do I remain strong and keep going?

Once again the person that's in the middle of this is my mom. I love her deeply but she keeps on saying its not true love. And that breaks my heart. I tell her that we love EACHOTHER and he defends me from his mom saying anything bad about us and I told her that he's a great guy with a future. But still she doesn't findit enough for me to stay in the relationship.

She wants me to find someone in University who is from a nice family and just not related in any way to me. I understand her POV but I don't want to let him go it's so hard to find someone not only compatible but Genuine and caring and who won't Cheat. All my other relationships have Beene either unrequited loves or full of lies and she knows this.  :cry: why does our reputation have to outweigh happiness ??

I'm crying my heart out and I feel like a mess I don't know what to do and I can't imagine myself with another person please pray for us and give help and advice!

Thanks so much in advance any help is greatly appreciated.

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the only advice i can give you is stand your ground. tell your mother that the subject of your relationship with your cousin is off limits, and that you will walk away every time she brings it up. and then DO that.

but you also have to not bring it up around her.

your reputation doesn't have to outweigh your happiness. in fact, i don't see anything in this situation that has anything to do with YOUR reputation at all. it looks like your mother is concerned about HER reputation. and what she's forgetting is that her reputation is based on her own personal behavior, not on yours.

love your mom. tell her that you want her in your life, but that you will not discuss "this" again. you're an adult now, (or will be in may) and you get to take responsibility for your own life... that means you get to make your own choices and live with the consequences of those choices. your reputation isn't based on who you love, but rather on HOW you love... it's based on your integrity, your honesty, your compassion, and your backbone.

by the way, did you ever ask her about her youth, and try to connect with her on that level like i suggested before? and has he looked into pastoral counseling?

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LadyC to the rescue!

Thank you so much for answering sorry for the late reply. I let her get the best of me and she keeps saying its not what I think it is (love)

He has stopped going to church and he is losing faith. :(

Please pray for us I feel broken inside and he's so important and good to me. I understand her point of view and I love her and I'm torn. I'm just praying that destiny take his course. I know that everytime we break up we manage to get back together.

But I'm not sure if it'll be the same this time :( ... He's traumatized and he doesn't want to leave me we can't imagine things without EACHOTHER but it's not fair to ask him for a break of almost four years just for the sake of proving my mom wrong about finding someone else.

I feel like I'm losing strength and I'm praying everyday and night for guidance but He has been quiet so far.

LadyC I thank you so much for answering my question but please I must ask another, what do you think we should do? I feel like I can't do this behind her back and I can't break his heart. He said he'd wait for me but I feel so terrible. Do I let go of this love forever? :cry:

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Alas we?ve found a solution. Since this isn?t the right moment for us to be with one another in a relationship we have decided to stick to being friends. It feels much better then cuttin off all ties and giving up hope. Not only will this help things cool down but I really think it wll put our love to the test so to speak.

In all honesty I felt like things were going too quickly anyways  :embarrassed: hehe so thank you LadyC for your great advice and maybe one day God willing me and my cousin?s complete  love story will be posted as a successful one  :laugh: I have so much hope now and feel much better!

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the only advice i can give you is stand your ground. tell your mother that the subject of your relationship with your cousin is off limits, and that you will walk away every time she brings it up. and then DO that.

but you also have to not bring it up around her.

your reputation doesn't have to outweigh your happiness. in fact, i don't see anything in this situation that has anything to do with YOUR reputation at all. it looks like your mother is concerned about HER reputation. and what she's forgetting is that her reputation is based on her own personal behavior, not on yours.

love your mom. tell her that you want her in your life, but that you will not discuss "this" again. you're an adult now, (or will be in may) and you get to take responsibility for your own life... that means you get to make your own choices and live with the consequences of those choices. your reputation isn't based on who you love, but rather on HOW you love... it's based on your integrity, your honesty, your compassion, and your backbone.

by the way, did you ever ask her about her youth, and try to connect with her on that level like i suggested before? and has he looked into pastoral counseling?

You, Ms. LadyC, are just awesome. :) Nice post. ;)

Pooch

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