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      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

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ineedlove

Need urgent advice!

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5 posts in this topic

I need some serious help, i would try to be as short as possible.

I would just say right now things are not at the right place for me, iam toooo obsessed with my first cousin that from last 7 months iam building up fantacies 24/7 and its harming me physically and mentally, three days back when i was at market with my uncle i just fall apart i was unconcious for 10 mins when i opened my eyes and got into my sences i realised i was breathing very fastly and my limbs got wooden hard i was not able to move or use my limbs for about half an hour.

I got a medical check up after that and the reason doc told me for my that situation was a minor swelling in my brain, well anything in brain isn't minor.

Another reason of my stress is that my concern about my career.

So now iam planning to seek some professional help so that i can break up with my stress till the things fall in my place.

So my questions are,

Am i taking a sensible action?

Iam going to get a counsellor through my brother , on the part of professional values of a counsellor will he/she disclose my secrets to my brother on his request?

(i will tell him everything but at the right time, but i have not promised him that i will tell him surely coz if things didn't go right i won't tell him anything)

Will he/she understand my feelings for my cousin?

And last thing i wanna know how much does a decision of a girl depend upon the financial state of me, as when she have only and only one chance of pursuing  a relationship with a guy because the kind of restrictions she have , kind of society she lives in and kind of brothers and parents she have.

And thnx in advance.

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a counselor is bound by confidentiality and can not disclose anything in your sessions with your brother or anyone else. and any counselor worth a grain of salt is going to be completely neutral about the whole cousin thing. hopefully he/she will even be educated on the subject and be able to help you understand the dynamics and how it might affect you and those around you.

i definitely hope that the brain swelling can be resolved medically, and soon! it sounds very scary what happened to you in the marketplace like that! but it sounds like it was due to the brain swelling and not because of your emotional issues.... although an anxiety attack might be able to cause a similar event maybe.

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Now iam having another issue my brother wants to know everything, the problem is he is also my first cousin , he is the son of my eldest maternal uncle and the girl i like is the daughter of 2nd eldest maternal uncle, if he was my real bro i would have no problem and he will be home in next few hours and iam totally confused?

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One thing i would like to add about my cousin bro is that even his parents fixed his marriage with his first cousin

,its nothing taboo here cousin marriages are very common here, so what should i do now?

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you're making things way more complicated than you need to. if you WANT to tell this guy the scoop, tell him. if you DON'T, then don't. it's that simple.

now clear things up for me. was he adopted or raised by your parents? and if not, then please don't call him your brother, it confuses everybody who tries to help you here. if he's just another cousin whom you are very close friends with, then just say so.

your life will become so much easier when you start just dealing with the basics and quit over-dramatizing everything.

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