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Colmi51

Need advice on if we are related or not?

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My great Aunt is my boyfriend's great grandmother.  My mom's great aunt should be my great aunt as well, right?  And, my boyfriend's dad's grandmother is my boyfriend's great grandmother, is that correct?  If so, or not..........how are we related then?  We are 61 and 63 yrs old!  We met after many years, and fell deeply in love. Family members tell us we can't be together because we are related. We live in Michigan.  I am thinking I am my boyfriend's aunt and he is my nephew?  Is that right or not?  Or, are we distant cousins that go so far back that it doesn't matter....please help figure this out.  It is driving me nuts.....lolo :cry:

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hang on a minute, let me try and do the math.

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ok i'm trying to diagram this out on paper. what i'm coming up with is that his great grandmother can't be your great aunt. his grandmother would be your great aunt, or his GREAT grandmother would be your GREAT GREAT aunt. maybe you could help me out here by indicating where i'm getting this right or wrong... please count the generations in your family and in his and tell me exactly which relative in each family you're talking about... once we figure out exactly what THEIR relationship is, we can know what YOUR relationship is.

in your family....

you

your mom

your grandmother

your great grandmother

your great great grandmother

in his family....

him

his mother

his grandmother

his great grandmother

his great great grandmother

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(i realize i didn't list your aunts.... but your aunts would be your mom's sibling, and so on. so you need to bring it back around to how his great grandmother is related to your mother.)

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try to hurry.... i'm the only one in the house that's not already in bed. in fact, this would probably go pretty quickly if you'd meet me in the chatroom. at the top of the forum here, you can click "chat" and meet me in there. i'll open it in another window and stay here also, in case you would rather do it right here.

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Okay......HIS father's grandmother (my bf's great grandmother then) is my Mother's aunt which is my great aunt on my mother's side.  I am not sure if it should be great great grandmother for my bf or not though........thanks for helping!!

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ok you're not responding, and it's getting late. so i'm going to try this again....

you said: My great Aunt is my boyfriend's great grandmother.  My mom's great aunt should be my great aunt as well, right?  And, my boyfriend's dad's grandmother is my boyfriend's great grandmother, is that correct?

your mother's great aunt is your great great aunt. two greats, not one.

your boyfriend's dad's grandmother is indeed his great grandmother.

so, his great grandmother is your great great aunt.

let me do this in a way that i can follow and not get tripped up. if it had been his grandmother and your aunt, that would have made you first cousins once removed. (i know that part is accurate because my husband and i are first cousins once removed... his grandmother was my aunt.)

extrapolating that, a great aunt and great grandmother would have been 2nd cousins once removed. a great-grandmother and a great-great aunt would be 2nd cousins twice removed.... i think that's right.

no matter how you look at it, you are definitely NOT aunt/nephew. and you ARE so distantly related as cousins that it doesn't matter. there is nothing incestuous about it by biblical, legal or medical definitions. (in fact, even first cousins are not incestuous, except under the incest laws of about 15 or so states... but never by medical or biblical definitions)

the two of you can legally marry anywhere in the entire world. tell your family members to mind their own business. you two have lived long enough to have earned the right to be happy. :)

oh heck, you've responded before i could post this. i'll doublecheck my math real quick and then post again.

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ah, ok. i thought you'd said originally it was your mother's great aunt, which would be your great great aunt. i see i misunderstood that.

so that makes you 2nd cousins once removed. still legal worldwide. no worries :) now i hope you'll be able to sleep well and have happy dreams tonight... and i'm glad i can crawl in bed having solved the math LOL... otherwise i'd have laid there all night trying to figure it out!

goodnight!

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My  Great Grandmother (Angelina Daniels) had a sister named (Lucinda Daniels) which is my Great Aunt from my mother's side of the family ------who MARRIED my bf's Great Grandpa. In saying that, Lucinda Daniels is my Great Aunt, She is also my bf's great grandmother.

You said we are 2nd cousins twice removed, right?  Even after reading what I just wrote then?  Just to finalize what you said.  Thank you so very much for your time and efforts with this!!

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Okay.....last try.  I talked to my bf just now.  HIS great great grandfather married my great aunt (which he says is his great great grandmother)!!!!..........that is exactly how it is for sure.

I apologize for the huge confusion as you can see.  How far off are we now?  My head is spinning............lololo

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Oh for Heaven's sake!!!  at 61 and 63, you are mature enough to tell your relatives to take a long walk on a short pier!!!!  Your relationship is distant enough and absolutely NONE of their business! 

Have a wonderful life! 

HUGS

Nat

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LOL, like nat and hawk said, you two are so distantly related that i shouldn't matter to anyone. tell them all to bug off! i'll try recalculating later. my brain gets worn out trying to do math. but if i'm going to recalculate it and be sure that i'm accurate, i need you to name names all the way back PAST his great great grandfather who married your great aunt.... i'll need to know the first names all the way back to the COMMON ancestor who is responsible for the generations on both his side and your side. the reason i need names is that i can't keep the generations straight in my head if i'm labeling them 'his grandpa' and 'your grandma', etc. they don't even have to be real names. you can make up names if you want. just make sure to include for each of you the name of each of your DIRECT ancestors all the way back to the common one.

remember as you are doing this, you're tracing YOUR direct ancestors.... the only time you'll name any aunts (specifically lucille) will be on the same line, and next to, the name of angelina. i'm going to diagram mine out so you can see exactly what i'm wanting from you, although mine is a shorter list than yours will be.

my side:

me

mom (mary)

grandparents ( mattie and ben)

mark's side:

him

his dad (glenn)

his grandma (bessie)

his great grandparents (mattie and ben)

here is how it all works out. our common ancestors were mattie and ben. they had 2 kids, mary and bessie.

mary and bessie are sisters.

mary had a daughter... me.

bessie had a son.... glenn.

me and glenn are first cousins.

glenn had a son. his son is my first cousin once removed... and that's who i married.

so list me the names all the way back the the common set of ancestors and we'll count the generations out. but in the mean time, don't worry. you are at the very closest going to be 2nd cousins once removed... and given the updated information you gave me, i'm possibly somewhere in the third cousins range. no matter how you slice it, you are so distantly related that it will only matter in tiny minds of small people.

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Hello again, and thank you for reading my confusing back and forth information.  Honestly, I don't care about what the relatives say or think.

I have always been one to "know what you know", so I must at least know the way it is for my own knowledge, and IF a person wants to bring it

up to try to put us down about being together and related, I will be able to set it straight the best that I can. This forum is a blessing to me.......

Here is the information you asked for:

Coleen

Dorothy and Bob, my parents

Ethel and Archie, my grandparents

Angelina and Nathaniel, my great grandparents

LUCINDA (Angelina's sister, my great Aunt

Richard

Dorothy and Charles, his parents

Elmer and Nellie, his grand parents

Charles and Clara, his great grandparents

Aldus and LUCINDA, his great great grandparents

THE COMMON ANCESTORY IS MY GREAT AUNT LUCINDA AND HIS GREAT GREAT GRANDMOTHER LUCINDA, WHO ARE THE SAME PERSON.

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alrighty.... for the sake of the diagram below (the list, really, since a diagram would be a graphic chart), i'm assuming the first name of each couple to be the actual descendant.

ok the actual common ancestors are angelina's and lucinda's parents.

lucinda and angelina were sisters.

charles (son of lucinda) and ethel (daughter of angelina) were first cousins.

elmer (grandson of lucinda) and dorothy (granddaughter of angelina, married to bob) were 2nd cousins

dorothy (great-granddaughter of lucinda, married to charles) and YOU (great granddaughter of angelina), 3rd cousins.

richard, great great grandson of lucinda, and you, great-granddaughter of angelina, are third cousins once removed.

and there ya have it :) the reason for the "once removed" is because he is your third cousin's son.... thus he is one generation further removed from the common ancestors than you are. cousins without the 'removed' are always the exact same number of generations down from the common ancestors... so, just to make it more confusing, your children are richard's fourth cousins.

so did ya follow all that? or did i just make it all about as clear as mud?

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Well, finally!!!!  You did it, LadyC!! Hats off to you for working so hard on this for me.

I missed your reply here, but just found it.  Thank you so very much for the very clear

breakdown of the common ancestors list that I gave you.  I will return from time to

time to stay connected and tell you how we are doing from here on out.  God Bless!

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you're welcome, and i hope you two have a happy life together! and God bless ya'll, too :)

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My daughters boyfriends Grandmother Is my daughters great aunt Are they too closely related to be dating

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gina davie, if I read this correctly, they would be second cousins and that is legal anywhere. NO they are not too closely related.

Even first cousins can legally date and marry in many countries and about 1/2 of the United States.

It would only be too close if they were siblings or another prohibited relative.

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