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Shawn8586

In trouble!!! Please Help

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Hi,

My name is Kevin and I am in love with my first cousin (my father's brother's daughter). She is also deeply in love with me. Our relation started because of my cousin as she had very intense feelings for me since she 15 years old and I was 16. First I tried to tell her about the problems that we can face and the cultural issue we have that our families would treat our relation as incest. I though her love is just an attraction and it will go away with time. It didn't happen like that, she started developing more and more feelings for me and she cares for me like I am the only person in her life. So in this way I also started loving her. It has been 3 years now since we are in relationship. We kept it a secret for these 3 years but now our families now about this. I live in Pakistan and my cousin too. We are Christians and our families are very conservative. Our families do not want to understand anything, they believe that first cousin are same as biological brothers and sisters and they should be treated in same manner. My views are different I do not think it should be treated as a taboo. In my family there haven't been a cousin marriage in years so there are less chances of birth defects too. I think out families should try to understand us. What they are doing is just pressurizing by saying that we are doing something like incest.

I am too worried about this. My cousin can't marry someone else and she can't even see me with some other girl. I also love my cousin and I believe that my life will be spent happily if she will be my wife.

Please help me that what I can do, you can share your views opinions and suggestions for us. Thank you

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Your story sounds almost like mine, and therefore I don?t think I am the best to give you advice. At least I am not sure. I do hope that someone will reach out and respond to this. I am interested in what sort of advice you?d get :) But more specifically: what would you like the advice to be on, precisely?

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First I tried to tell her about the problems that we can face and the cultural issue we have that our families would treat our relation as incest.

In my family there haven't been a cousin marriage in years so there are less chances of birth defects too. I think out families should try to understand us.

-what confuses me, though, is: is it or is it not accepted, that cousins are in a relationship? It sounds to me that your culture doesn?t accept it, but still, there has been a cousin relationship previously in your family?

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Hello Anne247365, I mention that there has not been any cousin marriage in my family before. My family is totally against it.

And you want to know that what I want advice to be, so the answer is I want to live the rest of my life with my cousin whom I am in love with, but I am really confused I want to know what others think about this, as my decisions are influenced by my feelings and emotions.

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ok :)

My decisions are purely based on emotions too - I don?t know how to be rational about it :)

I will still follow this thread, and hope that somebody replies soon.

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Shawn8586.

Cousins are NOT the same as siblings. I really have no frame of reference to even begin to understand how people can believe this. If your family is conservative Christians, then they should believe what the Bible says about the matter, and put their own earthly biases aside, in much the same way we are to put our earthly desires aside and follow the Word. There are resources here which you should show them. If they will not accept the facts as to what the Bible has to say on the matter, then they are NOT conservative Christians. They have created their own God, in their image, who commands others to obey their God's will, according to their will. They have not surrendered their will to the will and Word of God, they are outside of His direction. You have no duty to follow false doctrine. In fact, you should rebuke it. Have a look at this: http://www.cousincouples.com/?page=religion Feel free to show them that page, and my reply to you. They are in error, and I will make no bones about telling them that. I will back my position up with scripture, something they will NOT be able to do. I will back up the fact that cousins are NOT siblings with known facts of DNA, genetics, and genealogy of the most basic and elementary nature.

You should not back down on this. You have scripture AND science on your side....... 

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Hello Hawk, First of all I would to thank you for your reply to my post and it has a message that I can get hope from. You are the first person from whom I heard favorable words and the words which Bible and Science also favors.

As you said that Bible nowhere restricts cousins from marrying each other. This is the reason that makes me angry that my family is just following a family made doctrine. In my family and our family culture they believe that the children of uncles (my father's brother and male cousins) are same as my my brother and sister and there can be no romance(feeling of love) between us.

If I would try to explain them they will say that I am a fool or that I think that I am the most wisest in whole family. They won't listen to me Hawk.

They may listen if an authority figure explains it to them like a priest.

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They may listen if an authority figure explains it to them like a priest.

Sounds to me like it's time to have a nice casual sit-down with their priest/pastor, and explain it to him, if he doesn't already realize the facts.  :wink:

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