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      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

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Loreal14

New here... Afraid to tell family

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My cousin and I have been dating secretly for 6 months, and he said he is preparing to tell our family because he cannot live a lie. I am adopted, and he is my first cousin once removed. We are afraid our family will disown us. I'm hoping because I am adopted it will not be an issue. Advice?

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More information would be helpful in giving advice, especially your ages, do you live at home

are you self sufficient, are you in school or working, etc.

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We both have good jobs and are in our early 30's. His job allows him to go pretty much where he wants, I have a good job, so he would have to move near me, which he is willing to do.

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You are both adults and a free to make your own decisions in your lives.  The prospect of family's rejection can be very intimidating - most of us here understand that fear.  But you know, sometimes our families surprise us with their acceptance.  Mine did!  You know your family and have a sense of how they might react, so you have to decide if this relationship is worth some family rejection/nagging/scolding/sour looks....

I see no reason for you two not to do what seems best for you.  After waiting nearly 30 years, I am finally with my first cousin.  Both of us now regret having waiting so long.  Don't wake up one morning wishing that you would have made a different choice.

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They found out two days ago quite by accident. His dad seems to go back and forth with it, and his mom wishes I was dead, and says there's no way she will ever accept it. They are less concerned with the cousin part and more concerned with the age part. I am so upset. I haven't slept in  2 nights. He said he is relieved because they didn't react as badly as he thought they would. I feel differently. I think they reacted just as bad as I suspected. His mom said if I ever show my face around there she will kill me.

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