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HELP! No idea what to do :/

Guest MobiusX

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Guest MobiusX

So I am 18 and I have been in love with my half cousin (we share only the same grandmother) for about 5 years now. I have known her for the longest, and it's kinda funny because when we were younger (and even living under the same roof at one point) we used to sometimes get mad at each other and argue etc. But as time passed, my feelings for her changed drastically. I always felt attracted to her, but only in the last 5 years have I realized how strong it was. Well, things had changed because she had moved to NY and I live in FL. We still kept chatting and texting very frequently. We had fun talking to each other but I was scared to let her know that I felt something bigger for her since I was afraid it would make things awkward for us. 2 years ago I broke the chain and gave her a hint that let her know that I felt something big for her, and she made sure that I was referring to her. She handled it normally, and told me that she also likes me (didn't specify) and that it was better off to let time pass and see what happens. I accepted it, and gave it time. We haven't seen each other in 3 years, I will prob. see her next year (summer), and I was reaaaally looking forward to it, with me not being sure if my heart would be able to handle her presence. HOWEVER, recently there has been a big turn of events... I noticed one of her male friends had posted a picture of him kissing a girl. The girl's face wasn't very clear as his face was covering it (it seemed like a very passionate kiss) and it turned out the girl's hands looked like hers and had the same jacket she had in a previous picture. I felt that I was starting to get buried, I even saw a coffin... but I wasn't determined to believe it and so I didn't come to conclusions right off the bat, but decided to check the guy's facebook profile... only to wish I never had. He had an open relationship with her, and that was the final nail in the coffin... she never told me or anything, and I just realized they had been going out for 4 months (I didn't see it in her profile because she didn't have it as an open relationship).... I was never that emotional or anything, but what I felt was something I never dreamed of feeling. She seemed happy with him, with her beautiful smile .. by his side. I haven't texted her in about a month, and coincidentally she texted me yesterday (one day after I found out abt their relationship).... and I don't know how to approach things, I haven't replied... and I am so heartbroken that I don't know if to respond or just.... IDK. What should I do? Should I just wait to meet up with her next year? Any advice to a guy with a sword through his heart would be greatly appreciated, and pardon for the long post. Thanks in advance.

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