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      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

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late bloomer relationships

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seems to be a lot of threads regarding teen relationships...has been any mid - late twenty -early  thirties relationships here? what has been your general experience/advice in how to go about it since I'm in this age bracket and would like some guidance. thanks

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oh there are lots of us "late bloomer" people LOL. mark and i didn't find each other til we were 34 and 37 respectively. we proceeded with caution, but weren't going to let taboo stand in our way once we found out we could legally marry. and really, nobody had any real issues with it. neither of our exes gave us any grief.... my daughters were pre-teens, and after we answered all their questions, were quite happy about it, and the rest of our family on both sides either embraced us with open arms or stood quietly on the sidelines for a few months to see if we were really going to work.

my advice? never let society, peers, friends or family dictate who you spend your life with, unless the person is of poor moral character and does drugs or robs banks or has a pinchant for physical abuse.

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We were "late bloomers" too. Tim and I met as young teens but nothing happened until about 38 years later.

We married at 52 and 53. We are second cousins.

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Although my cousin and I had been attracted to each other for decades, neither of us had the gumption to do anything about it...until last year.  We are both mid-40's and 1st cousins. 

My advice?  If there's a mutual attraction between the two of you, go for it.  As far as family is concerned, you may be surprised at how accepting they will be.  I was!  You don't indicate what kind of advice you would like - there's a myriad of topics that could be of interest.  I will simply say that you are both of an age that you are able to make this type of decision for yourself.  Be smart, and realize that in many aspects, a relationship with your cousin is like any other:  you will annoy each other, make each other angry, fight, laugh and find comfort in each other.  The societal taboos and family drama bring a unique aspect to the relationship, so you have to decide if this person is worth what could be some discomfort in your lives, and you do need to check the laws of your state to make sure you won't run into any legal difficulties.  But for the most part, cousin romances are similar to other romances.  I for one, happen to think that the relationship with my cousin is one of the best damn decisions I've ever made...but that's just me  :cheesy:

Don't waste years upon years wondering "what if".  Maybe you are your cousin will have something special, maybe not.  Who can say concerning matters of the heart?  But you will never know one way or the other if you don't get the ball rolling.

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I thankyou for sharing your wonderful experience and advice. overcoming trepidation is a big hurdle for me, and to have others gone through it all is comforting to know! please keep it coming

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Compared to the teens, yea I guess we're all "late?"

I'm in my mid 50's. She, a first cousin is in her mid 40's. Due to the age difference and families scattering we've only recently really got to know each other.

In the beginning the "cousins" thing was a shock to this ole fellers system. Truthfully, a relationship with a cousin wasn't something I ever expected. There's been lots of other major surprises in my life, so I didn't let it stop what seems so right.

Now, the ten year age difference is on my mind far more often than the common kin! In fact it rarely comes up between us now unless we're just "messin" with people about it... 

Yes I realize I just told a woman's age!

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