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I think I'm mis-reading my cousin....

Guest lovinjavaevryday

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Guest lovinjavaevryday

Ok, guys, to warn you -this will be a long intro to my question...

A year ago my cousin and I found eachother on facebook. We hadnt seen each other in 18 or so years, maybe more. We werent really close when we were little. I mean we saw eachother from time to time (once a year or so) sometiomes it was once every 3-4 years! When we'd see eachother it would be when he was visiting his dad (my uncle) . It would be a big family get-to-gether at my grandma's house kind of thing. We might would say a few things to eachother, but we didnt hang out or do things together.

He is very happily married, has been for 15 years and has 4 adorable kids. His and his wife's facebook is filled with hundreds and hundreds of family pictures and happy selfies.

Well, since we've become friends on facebook, he has said many times

- He hates we lost touch & he'd always wondered what happenned to me (even though we never really were "in touch")

-he has said multiple times that he wanted to see me when I came out close to where he lives (this felt odd as we never were close, never had a connection as kids)

-he's asked about my love life

    * asked if I was married the forst time we PMd on fb, when I said I was but we were seperated later in the convo he asked if I was trying to work things out in my marriage or not

    * has asked about my love life almost everytime we've pm'd since

    * the 2nd time he asked I told hime I was in a new relations ship - he asked how long we'd been together, then when I told hime the new bf was about to move in with me he asked if that was my idea followed with a cartoonicon of snoopy blushing (?)

-The last conversation (yesterday) was the strangest: We were randomly PMing on fb I'll list the convo......

HIM: I'll probably be coming back to ______ soon

HIM: i think in august

ME:Really?! Then we'd def have to have lunch or something if you had time!

HIM:I'll be there in august sometime

ME:Yeah, that'd be cool to visit!!

HIM:yes I would like that. I always hated we lost touch. You have always been one of my favorite cousins if I can say that.. lol

ME: lol, you can say that


HIM: you know if you ever need a cousin to listen to your issues or problems or if there is ever anything I can do to help you I would. just saying

Now, I didnt think anything odd or out of the ordinary till after the conversation was over. I'll admit I always tend to see things in a conversation if I'm already attracted to a person. I dont know that I am attracted now, but, of course when I was 13 and 14 had a huge crush on him! So, wasnt sure if I'm picking up on something i'm imagining or not....please help. Thanks.

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  • Moderator

He is supposedly "happily married"??? 

I see all kinds of red flags here - he's too nosy about your personal relationships.  Any non relative who asked you about your love life would likely be told to shove off.  Your personal life is none of his business.

I bet his wife would be really upset - unless, of course, he has been playing around on her already.

I would tell him that if he comes to visit he will be seeing you AND your bf.  Be sure to ask if his wife will be coming too.  You are looking forward to meeting her.  That is unless you plan to take a looonnng vacation in case he shows up!  lol


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i'm with nat. don't even entertain the possibility of striking up even a casual relationship with him without his wife being present, because it's just asking for heartache.

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