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JLA

I need help

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Okay so, I'm 20 and my cousin, first cousin is 21 or 22 and I want to have a relationship with her. Secretly. she has two kids and I don't want to be a father to them or have kids of my own just yet with her or anybody. I just want to have sex with her and love her like a lover and I want her to be as excited and passionate about this as me. I started to drop Flirty hints at her a few weeks ago and I've been getting closer and closer to telling her I want to have a relationship with her but recently I think I took it too far and she told me to stop being weird and hasn't talked to me since. Its been 3 days. I think she finally gets that Im trying to get with her but I just don't know how she feels. I'm trying to give her space. The last thing I told her was "okay, ill just wait for you to text back when you want" she works a lot. Basically all day/night everyday. I'm here to see if I can get some useful advice that i don't already know. I'm glad I found this site. Thank you for reading and if you help, thanks for your help. I want to talk to her now but I just don't know exactly what's going through her mind or I should wait for her to text me. But I don't think she will ever initiate the text. I don't know what to tell her as of right now. I don't want to apologize for texting her what I texted her. The text I sent her that I think took it too far was basically I wanted to massage her cause she was working all day/night and touch her face (I said touch hr face because she was saying how she doesn't like people touching her and I was like smh what?! And she said well my face makes me want to punch people and I was like you'll probably let me touch your face when you want not when I want and it'll be nice touches don't worry and she immidiately said good night afterwards and stop being weird and I said omg why. okay fine. I will because you want me to and I texted her the next morning good morning Smiley face and nothing and the midnight I said okay ill wait for you to text me. And today i poked her on Facebook. I can't think right now what to say next.......... I don't want to apologize for what I said. I'm thinking I'm gonna be like hey can we talk.

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JLA -

You take the first prize for arrogance, selfishness and stupidity.I would also add basic BAD manners.  I would delete your post but I want some of the other persons in charge here to add their comments.

If I were your cousin, I'd give you a relationship all right - with a cast iron frying pan right on the head.  Either to knock the stupidity out or some sense in!

This is NOT a porn site but a place for serious, caring cousins.  You don't qualify on either count. 

Nattana

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i like nana's idea of the kind of relationship you should have. you might as well have told your cousin "hey, i'd like to have a wham bam thank ya ma'am time with ya".

she's got a family to raise. she's smart not to waste her time with someone that just wants to get laid.

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Yeah, you're the kind of boy that I tell my teenage daughters to run away from;  Run as fast as their feet will carry them.

If I was a young woman with 2 little kids and had to work all the time to provide for them, I would not want an idiot like you in my life either.  The reason she's ignoring you is because she knows you're a self-absorbed child.  Or perhaps she's so busy trying to provide for those kiddos that you want to have nothing to do with, that she simply does not have time for you (or anyone else). 

Leave her alone.  Go grow up.

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What an imbecile you are,JLA!

You think because all you want your cousin for is a booty call, she should fall at your feet with gratitude and not

care that you don't want anything to do with her children.

Apparently you don't know or care much about a Mother's love and bond with and for her children.

I would tell you to take a long hike off  short pier and never cross my path again.

She is obviously ignoring your ignorance and doing what she has to do to provide for her children.

Best advice you will get here is to drop it and GROW UP.

You may be 20 but your maturity is about -0.

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Okay to Reply #1 or Nattana, I don't believe I'm arrogant because I listen to what others say and use it if I think its right. I'm not selfish because one I dont know what she's thinking and two ill allow her to reject, its fine and I don't know why you think I'm stupid and you saying I have bad manners is, I feel you do think I have manners but are trying to find something to argue about and I am a caring cousin. You don't know how I am with the family and with the world. I try to help everyone and when I want something I'm selfish. Now you know.

Reply 2 or LadyC, well obviously I'm misunderstood here. I think she wouldn't be wasting her time. She's still young I'm still young. I see nothing wrong with loving someone and when we find other people we're mature enough to move on. Because like I said I want her to understand that well be doing this secretly and lovingly and it can't go more further than that...

Reply 3 Serendipity, no you shouldn't because I'm telling them straight up at first that if they want they can pursue a relationship that's just sex. I'm not telling them I want to be with them forever and just leave them. So now you know that you shouldn't tell them to run from me. I don't have a lot of sexual partners. I choose them specifically. I've only had one and she was the love of my life. First love whatever and you say I want nothing to do with her kids and that's not true. I don't want to be their father but ill be their uncle. Which I am. You don't know how I am with then either. Yeah I don't know why she hasn't talked to me.

Reply 4, Romalee, Ill be her booty call to I'm not selfish. I don't think she should fall at my feet with graditude. And I do want something to do with her kids. Just not a father but an uncle. Id want her to care if I didn't want anything to do with her kids. Yeah I don't think I'm ignorant for something, if anything, I don't know. Oblivious maybe.

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You risk so much heartache on her by trying to be bed buddies. And asking her to do it secretly, that is very distrustful and can cause huge problems for the both of you, but especially her.

You seem to be perfectly okay with using her as a bed buddy, and you don't seem interested in HER, or her needs which shows her that you don't really care how she will be affected by it.  Why do you even want her? I'm sure you can find a girl somewhere that will be interested in your distasteful desires. And one that won't permanently damage your relationship with a family/family member.

She's also insanely busy according to what you've said, why should she waste valuable time that she needs for her kids on your loveless desire?

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Well I just typed a message explaining myself but it deleted so I'm just gonna summarize and say I'm not pursing this anymore...

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that's good.... for her. very good.

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Well I'm not sure what I can add to what the ladies have already said so well.  JLA, you're a creep and your cousin figured it out. Good for her.  Stop being a creep.

Oh, you'll be her booty call, too.  How nice of you!  I pity any woman who actually falls for that. Willing to be her kids uncle? Oh, that's just so magnanimous of you!  What about the ones you sire with your relationship based only on sex? Or did you forget that kids happen to be a side effect (even when you don't want them) of sex?

You're a self-centered pig.  If you want to derive sexual self pleasure, don't kid yourself that you're doing some poor woman a mutual favor.  Just go off into a locked room and leave them out of it.

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