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Guest ElizabethMango

Where Do I Go From Here?

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My cousin and I have always had an extremely close relationship with each other. You could say we've been an inseparable duo since birth.

He was my best friend, and I considered myself the closest to him out of anyone in my life.  The same was true for him. 

On days when I'm in the mood to believe in past lives, I could just about swear he and I have known each other for much longer than our chronological age suggests.

About a year and a half ago, we sort or broke off our friendship,  but it was never decided if it was a permanent break or a temporary one.  We were both dealing with a lot of personal issues and I think we needed the space.

As a result of a lot of soul-searching and deep introspection,  I started to realize that I have been treating my "friendship" with him more like a relationship and viewing him almost as a boyfriend figure.  It led me to the frightening realization that my feelings for him aren't quite so "friendly" as I once thought.  It was devastating for me to see this, as I have no idea how to move on from here.  Once I saw how I felt, SO many things that previously confused me began to make sense and click into place.  Part of me thinks,  that this was inevitable.  Our friendship was so intense and he filled so many slots in my life, I hardly wonder I didn't see all this sooner. 

The crappy part is, I have absolutely no idea what I'm going to do now that I know how I really feel about him.  Because of the nature of my dilemma, I haven't been able to reach out and ask for advice. Thank god I found this site!

Any advice?

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Hi ElizabethMango and welcome to the forum!

I've been in your position as well, and the way I coped with it was to hope and wait to see if he showed the same feelings. I was lucky, and he did. Do you feel it is a possibility he could feel that way for you too? It sounds like there is an undeniable connection. Maybe he is questioning it just as much as you are and is too shy or nervous to express it.

These emotions can become overwhelming, and its sometimes hard to talk to people about it. It took me 7 years to tell my best friend about it. However, this website has overwhelming support and great feedback.

Perhaps you can test out if he has the same type of interest in you. Something private, dark, and romantic. See if he becomes more playful, and if/when he does, push the limit a little farther to see if he reciprocates.

I wish you the best of luck with the situation ahead. Keep us posted!

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Thanks for replying.  I was starting to think I had a dead thread on my hands. :rolleyes:

What exactly did you mean when you suggested something "private, dark, romantic"?

I've been toying with maybe teasing him a bit to see if he pushes back, but now you have me curious.

It is a bit weird, because with how strong the connection is between us, I'd hope I'm not the only one that feels this way.

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