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Guest pooja2008

late realisation of love

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In my teen age and young adulthood i had a crush on my cousin 6 years older than me.he was not my true cousin in the sense that our fathers were close friends but not otherwise related. However, we were reared as brothers and sisters only. The two families were staying at different locations and met annually during summer vacations. At the age of 12 he went to a residential school and did not meet my family for 6 years. But when he came back at the age of 18, he was totally a different person and I felt immediate attraction towards him. Over next 5-6 years he completed his studies and became a doctor while I completed my schooling and joined graduation. Through out this time he kept coming to our house whenever he got leave. My love only kept growing for him with time but could not tell him or family due to the relation thrust upon us. I did not know about his feelings, but he always gave me special treatment compared to all others. He always hang around by my side only and tried his best to fulfill my demands. So much so if i wrote to him to come to our house on a particular day, he would take leave and come to our place. However, I could never sum up courage to tell him or our parents about my feelings. Time again separated us, we got settled in lives with different life partners and almost forgot the past. But suddenly after 23 years of married life and having two children, I started missing him. Finally I could not control myself and requested my elder brother to find where abouts of him. My elder brother found out  his mobile number and gave to me. With tears in my eyes I spoke to him for full one hour on phone and let out all my pant up feelings. He listened patiently. At the end of the conversation he also melted down and confessed that he  equally reciprocated my love and had been waiting to hear this all along these years. But, he also said since both of us had confessed our love, we should never meet again to avoid destruction of two families. Now, I am devastated. I can not forget him. I can not meet him, I can not face my husband. I am lost. What to do?

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you remember the vow you made to your husband and you honor it.

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How to remove him from my heart especially when I know he had the same feelings for me.

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I would like to further clarify that I have no plans to cheat on my husband. He is loving and very supporting. But this late realisation of love for my so called cousin has got on my nerves. I saw some of his latest photographs made available to me by my elder brother. He is still dashing in his late forties. And after knowing that he equally loved me since my teen age, I just want to meet him face to face and hug him tight once in my whole life. If I cant do that I will die with unfulfilled desire and will have to  become a ghost cursed to hang around this world for ever. This is a big popular site. I am sure at least one member  must have faced similar situation. I shall be ever grateful to the member who could share with me how she/he tackled the situation. Please reply. I am really in desperate situation. Thanks in advance.

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