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      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

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apple5

Has anyone ever dated their step brother/ sibling?

5 posts in this topic

I'm going through a difficult time, because I have fallen in love with my step brother.  I know this sounds really weird, but it just happened. 

Does anyone have a similar story that can relate with me?  I would really love to talk to someone who has had experience in this kind of a situation to help me through this tough time.  Thanks guys any similar stories is appreciated.

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apple5,

Being that this is a site dedicated to cousin relationships, I'm going to say generically, no. But, we've had occasions that folks have ended up here who have fallen for full siblings, and I'm sure some here have step siblings, and at one point may have had a crush on them, so, no, it wouldn't be unheard of for us. That said, your status with this is probably somewhat similar to cousin relationships. Since blood relation, and possible genetic issues aren't really an issue, it comes down to the legalities of the matter. On that, it's time for the standard disclaimer: We are NOT lawyers, and do NOT give legal advice. Having said that, and without digging into the matter, my general understanding is that is is similar to cousin relationships in that some States would allow it, others won't. You would have to look under your particular State incest and marriage statutes. You will be looking for specific verbiage such as " .... whether by the full blood, half blood, adoption, or by marriage". If your step parent has not adopted you, and the legal relation is only step brother, then, it comes down to having the "or by marriage" clause in the statute. Most times that is in the statute, a relationship, and possible consequent marriage is prohibited so long as the marriage that created that status (the marriage of your parent to his parent) exists. Should that marriage dissolve, the two of you would be free to continue. However, wouldn't THAT make for an awkward wedding?  :shocked: That is generally why such wording is in these statutes. It is to prevent awkward/confusing relationships which would impact the "domestic tranquility" of the family unit, such as it has become.

I'm going to venture a guess that in most States, LEGALLY, you would be fine. I've dug into these statutes repeatedly over the last 3 or 4 years, and only rarely recall seeing "or by marriage" in the law. I suppose it is because, as a rule, (and up till now at least) so long as there is not a blood relation which would create genetic issues with offspring, the States could pretty much care less how much drama you create for yourselves privately. There again, YMMV, (your mileage may vary) and you would have to dig a little deeper.

As with a cousin relationship, I'm curious as to the drama you are looking at too. Are your parents going to flip out over this, or, since it isn't blood, will they be fine with it? I have heard of this sort of thing before, and remember this situation locally, but don't recall the specifics, or who exactly it was, or the long term outcome. It comes down to the impact on your parents' relationship should your relationship go south, and vice versa. IIRC, in the situation I heard about, everyone was all fine with it, and thought it was cute, at least initially. As I said though, I don't recall the long term outcome. Just remember, as we say with a cousin relationship, "You can't divorce family". Should the parents divorce, you will have that drama to deal with, without the two of you taking sides, and it adversely affecting your relationship. The same goes for them, should your relationship not work out, and get nasty. I certainly don't want to in any way wish ill upon your situation, but I would be remiss if I didn't make a point of all of this for you to consider in the big picture. If it's legal where you are, and everyone is fine with it, then, I personally don't have an issue with it. It just takes a little more work maybe than your "average" relationship to guard against added drama......

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I have fallen in love with my step sister we were in our teens when it happened, it was hard at first with both family's but after awhile thinks got better.  Happiness is what matters the most !!!  We have children together and blessed with a happy life for ourselves 

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really? which is it? your 3rd cousin or your step sister as you said in another thread? make up your mind.

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Yeah! Spell it out to us like we are 5 years old: how exactly are you related?

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