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GreenGoddess

how do I fall out of love with him?

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Hello, I'll try give you a rough scenario; long story cut short. Basically I've gone to somewhere very far away to even try and forget him and its just made it worse I'm hurting more but I'm hoping it for the best. I am insanely in love with my 1st cuz and I don't know what to do. I haven't grown up with him because of a family fallout. He's brothers stole my mums credit card! Strange thing is he's nothing like them at all. And I don't know if its fate telling me something but basically we moved out of london to a seaside, and somehow got in contact again after my father divorcing my mum. And they weirdly are down here too out of trhe whole world! And I'm moving round the corner from them. I feel such a nice tingily praise in my heart. He's so sexy but I have no belief its right to tell him as I risk a lot. But we flirt a lot and I got so drunk I stupidly asked for a hug and he was like 'na' jokingly then smiled and pulled me in. I cannot stand it when he flirts with girls around me. I'm just going to find it almost impossible to avoid him in the situation I'm in. Its like its ment to be. I'm 6hours away till tuesday,and my heart just feels as though its dying a painful death. Is there anyone who can help me? When my auntie asked 'you going fireworks with a boy abs' and he was intrigued going are you abs? Grinning at me. And I said 'na there all wweird round here. And he said 'same what I think about the birds' then I caught he's eye after he said it. What would you do? It seems like its only going to get harder. Me N Auntie cooked for them and everything. I love him so much butt understand we can never be :(   

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GreenGoddess,

At least if you are in England, it's legal. The past drama with his brothers could be thrown in the mix, but, that wasn't him, or you. Totally irrelevant. Don't rule it out. Just be cautious. The same as you would if it were any other guy you liked. Maybe try what we call the old tried and true "If you weren't my cousin...." line on him to try to gauge how he feels about you. Proceed slowly from there if he feels the same, and move on if he doesn't.

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19 and 22. I'm caring for my dad. He's caring for he's mum. And thankyou your right 'if you weren't my cousin...' Ill defiently give that a crack soon. X

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Hawk is right, hinting is the best lol  Have you read the sticky posts? It has suggestions on how to open up with hinting etc...

nessa76

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Good luck. :) Remember, they may have an opinion about things but you two are adults and are not under your family's thumbs. I have not confessed to my cousin yet so I totally understand your feelings! But I wish you the best. I guess as scary as it is, you never know until you try.

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It's going to be difficult but you have to get him out of your life. It's going to be hard to let him go because you have such a deep commitment to him and you really can't force yourself nor can you tell yourself that you don't love him anymore.

However, you're in an abusive relationship. He may not hit you, but he does hurt you mentally and he tries to control you. You need to realize that you're worth more than that and even though you love him with all of your heart, you don't deserve to be hurt like this. If he truly loved you, he would never put you through this pain.

You have to be strong right now and leave him before something drastic happens. I know what you're going through, and it's going to be hard but you have to let him go and move on. You don't have to do it by yourself, your friends will help you along the way. It's hard to let go 3 years, but it's necessary if you're just getting hurt. I promise, your life will only get better once you leave him and start developing healthy, lasting relationships.

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I agree absolutely with lauren85 that your worth way more than to be in an abusive relationship. These people that try and control are so insecure within themselves, that they abuse and control you so you feel like you need them but in all reality you don't at all. 

I'm sure your an intelligent person and nobody should have to put up with mental abuse from no one  :smiley:

I had a so called friend that mentally and emotionally abused me in the past and now i've got rid of him, i feel tons better and my confidence has sky rocketed too to the way it was before all this started.

Good luck

nessa76

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Hello thank you for all your answers! But first of all there's no abuse going on. But things are really strange I actuaally dreamnt of him for the first time last night, and its abnormal but I felt a flutter in my heart before going to bed, almost as though he was thinking of me since I've been back I've tried to find an excuse not to talk to him but it always got sorted somehow, but I think my auntie (he's mum) know's we have a little thing going on becuse I've noticed how she watches our body languages which are the same and refuses to let us be alone together in a way I m hatingly flaTtered. I rarely dream of any men, and to think I actually dreamed of him... Makes it worse, he seems to love having a secret war on who can hurt who the deepest and its only because he knows he'll always win the war being my elder cousin, but I told him a secret, that I got a secret piercing..a n d I'm testing him to see if he'll tell anyone he threatens to tell my dad jokingly if I play up but then says he's not a snake. So this is the test if he can't keep that a secret! He wontbe able to keep anything beneath the surface, I wish I didn't love him so much. I wish I didn't know what he thought the way he plays things out. Its like I can feel him feel the same around me sometimes.  :( 

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It's going to be difficult but you have to get him out of your life. It's going to be hard to let him go because you have such a deep commitment to him and you really can't force yourself nor can you tell yourself that you don't love him anymore.

You have to be strong right now and leave him before something drastic happens. I know what you're going through, and it's going to be hard but you have to let him go and move on. You don't have to do it by yourself, your friends will help you along the way. It's hard to let go 3 years, but it's necessary if you're just getting hurt. I promise, your life will only get better once you leave him and start developing healthy, lasting relationships.

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