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Space in a long distance relationship

Guest Ashley

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Guest Ashley

I guess i need a little advise...

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 years now, 1 year just hanging out and 2 years dating. He lives about 100 miles away from me and he is a professional athlete which makes things complicated at times. We are pretty good about seeing each other I feel a bit more committed as i go up there every Friday after work and come home every Monday morning and drive straight to work. I also will come during the week if we miss each other or if something is going on.. He comes to see me as well but i feel as though he only comes if he has plans that involve work where i live...that part i kinda of overlook because some things arent worth arguing about right? At least he comes to see me.. But lets get do the reason why i'm writing this, and mainly it is just to vent and just see if i get any feedback.

About a year ago or maybe a little more we had an issue with a girl. Mind you i come every weekend but this one weekend i decided i'm going to stay home. I had a bad feeling about this girl and i just had a gut feeling she was going to try something with him..you know when you have that feeling and you think maybe i'm over thinking it. As my friend would say if you put it into the universe its going to come true. Anyway so that Friday i had texted my boyfriend and said that girl better not come to your house tonight becuase he was having people over and this girl was a mutual friend of our friends. No response from him... so i dropped it and thought okay maybe i'm over thinking it. The next morning i got a fb message from her bf saying your boyfriend is trying to get with my girl friend blah blah blah..i didnt respond to him. I then realized okay im not that crazy i knew i had a bad feeling about her. I then called one of my girlfriends that was at his house that night and casually was like oh who was all over there last night and named off names one of which was that girls name. She then replied and said yea she was there. She proceeded to tell me the girl had "passed out" and someone carried her into my boyfriends room!!! mind you there was another bed available..Let me get to the point.. My boyfriend had said nothing happened then months and months later when he was drunk he had said that she tried to have sex with him..did they? I guess i will never know...then told me she also had called him trying to hang out..how did she get his number? Anyway i actually handled that pretty well and i let it blow over i figured i will never know the real truth right so why dwell on it and he had said he told her no i love my girlfriend. Anyway at that point i decided okay she may be everyone elses friend but who needs friends like that and i decided that i didnt like her at that point had a good reason.

Now to what happened recently..we were at a bar last weekend it was a friends b-day and she happened to be there my boyfriend was walking past her and then stopped to give her a hug i finially just had enough he didnt know i was right behind him. So after all this time of keeping my mouth shut and not flipping on all these dumb girls that try to get with him i snapped on him and said f u and i cant believe you would disrespect me like that. Mind you none of our friends were around to hear this. He then proceeded to tell me i was drunk and ruining our friends b day and we had to leave which made me more mad because then i felt like he didnt want her to see us together. I wasnt going to fight her but had she of tried to say hi to me i would have simply said that we are not friends dont try and act like we are and stay the f away from my bf. Apparently my bf didnt want that to happen. So we got into this huge fight alot having to do with the fact he made me leave when i wasnt drunk i had 2 beers in 2 hours. I think decided to stay at a friends house that night when he wanted me to stay there...we had been fighting and i just needed to get away for the night i was balling bc from the start of that day on friday he was telling me i should stay home nothing is going on tonight when infact i knew there was bc i was invited. So i felt like he knew she would be there... Then next morning i tried talking to him but he is very stubborn and to him i ruined the night it wasnt him at all... while i was talking he was looking at his phone. I then packed up all my stuff and left without saying good bye...he didnt try and stop me. At that point i had broken up with him that night becuase i was so mad. I then called him the next day and he said he needed space...I really just feel sometimes we are on different levels becuase of our lifestyles i cant always be in party mode like he is i have a serious job and i work 50 hours per week. He doesnt have to get up to work he gets to do what he wants... anyway i argued and told him we need to talk face to face about all this and that i was coming up there he said no if you do we are for sure done...at this point we decided the break up was dumb and we were still together but he insisted that i not come over.

So i yelled at him of course then got off the phone ... i decided to delete his phone number so i wouldnt contact him. He did text me yesterday and said he loved me with a kissy face.. i waited 5 hours to write back because my feelings are still so hurt. So i deleted his number again after that message and now its up to him to make the move...hes coming to my city in a couple of days for a b-day thing for his friend so we will see if he bothers to come by or not. He knows how this fighting effects my work and every day life ive been crying for 3 days..

I never knew long distance could be so difficult..when you cut off your only line of communication which is phone or actually going there it hurts. I feel we were both in the wrong but he feels i was more in the wrong even though this all happened bc of what he did.

I wish there was a handbook on love...my ex of 7 years set the standard of what i want and what i expect in a realationship. I just feel i cant give up on another relationship...i always tough it out till i cant do it anymore then i break...then of course they find a girl marry her and have kids...not saying they didnt want that with me but you get the point. I'm trying my hardest to not give up on another relationship but this is my first and only long distance relationship when is enough enough you know? I trust him to a certian extent its all the girls i dont trust they just dont have respect for someones relationship.


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