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confused please help

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i dont know what else to do but to ask you all for help.

i and my first cousin are in love with eachother since seven years.

in the begining he said that this will not work out and i also agreed and we kept everything casual as i thought that i could never fall in love like this.

i made many many blunders but our relationship grew more over the years.

i helped his parents also find a girl for him and everything and he got engaged a few months back and i moved away.

i thought i could handle everything because i did not know what love was.

now i am at a stage where the love of my life is not completely accepting me because he has pressure from his parents and maybe he has also fallen in love with the girl he got engaged to? i dont know

i told my father and he is also not able to accept us because he is engaged.

now my life has become a big pain because i cannot do anything. i have tried everything with him from cries to anger.

i dont know how to continue or what to do?

please anyone can shine a small ray of light or help


i am desperate


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Hello Bittu,

Your post mentions that your cousin is engaged to another girl.

Was this his choice or are his parents pushing the marriage in attempts to keep him away from you? If it was his choice, I don't really know what to tell you, as he has chosen to be with someone else.  We can't force others to pick us, as much as we wish we could.  I know you are desperate for an end to your pain, but unfortunately there isn't a quick or easy answer.  Sending some peace and health your way.

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Hi bittu!

How have your relationship grown over the years? Can you give us more background so we know what kind of feelings you two have towards one another? I guess I got confused because you said that, and then mentioned that you helped him get engaged to another woman. How did that happen? Were you thinking that you would be able to love him just as a cousin again after he got engaged?

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  • 2 weeks later...

thanks for the reply

sorry i did not add anything before because a lot happened over the week

his father called up my father and argued that i was threatening and annoying him

and that it was all my fault

my father did not reply anything to his argument because he also thinks its my fault and my parents said it correctly that he just used me and moved on

he has done the same with another girl before me

all this shattered me into a million pieces and took me too long to even accept

i guess i now am confirmed that he only used me and this was all a game for him

today for me he is dead

along with him is my belief in love

i want to thank you all for the support you all shared

but really one word of advice i will give is: its ok to go all out and all the way till the end in love--- but just before u do that make sure that the person ur doing it for is also on the same page as you and not there just taking advantage of u

as for him -- he is getting married in December and ruining another girls life

and i just cant do anything about it-- as usual

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