Eeirwyn

confused and need advice

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6 posts in this topic

I'm so confused :(

I was adopted when I was really young and only met my real dad about ten years ago when I was 18. He has a huge family, and I discovered I have a lot of cousins. But there is this one cousin... J is the most amazing man I've ever met (yes I know everyone says that about their love, but seriously he is!!) Since I met him we hit it off, like friends, going out and stuff. Then we lost contact for a couple years. A few months ago I saw him at another cousins funeral and got his number, we started texting, which lead to some really flirty texting. We went out about a week after the flirting started, drank a bit, but neither of us was drunk. That night we kissed and danced and when we got back to his place watched a movie in his bed. We ended up having sex. We go out often now, and it always turns into a weekend at his house and sex. Its wonderful. Sometimes when he drinks he calls me babe and tells me he loves me, but when he's sober it never happens. I want to tell him how in love I am with him, but I don't know how he feels. I'm scared to take a chance and loose what we have now. Do I tell him or wait? Does he even love me back? What do I do?

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If you don't want a FWB relationship then you will have to be the one to take some action. You've done things backwards (sex before monogamy) and now you're realizing that you want more.

You gotta nip this in the bud now before you're in too deep.  Set the boundaries now for yourself.  Next time he wants to get together you'll have to say "no". Tell him that this isn't working for you anymore. See where the conversation goes. Maybe he's insecure about the cousin issue or maybe he's really just a jerk. You'll never know until you broach the subject with him.

Good lick and let us know what happens.

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i'd be asking him straight up if he'd still be interested if he wasn't drunk. why is it that the most common thing i hear on these boards is 'we got drunk and had sex'? is that the only way people know to start relationships anymore?

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i'd be asking him straight up if he'd still be interested if he wasn't drunk. why is it that the most common thing i hear on these boards is 'we got drunk and had sex'? is that the only way people know to start relationships anymore?

I think that's how most relationships start off.

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He might be in denial himself and drinks to the justify his emotions and thoughts.

You should tell him that you two need to talk, meet up with him and express yourself, ask him to express himself as well.

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