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Cousins in love

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Hi Everyone,

I am new to this forum, so please go easy...lol

Here is what has happened:

My 1st cousin and i have been close since we were small (Much like most are). We used to do everything together..including get into trouble as kids. As time progressed, we still kept in touch.. but then there was like 10-15 years that i lost contact with her.. she went on her own way and i went on my own way. There was never one day that went by that i did not think about her. (I don't think she knows this). Well about 4-5 months ago, she showed up and married a friend of mine. They have had their troubles like anyone else. On the night of her Marriage was one of the first times that i really got to see her. When i showed up at the after party, she ran out with arms wide open and jumped on me and gave me a kiss and hug.. (Totally made my day). Now, i am married and have 2 beautiful kids, She has some kids as well. Both of us knew since we were kids that there was a attraction to each other..( Wrong or not). She is busy ALL THE DAMN TIME with doing something.. and a hell of a good cook! So when her and her hubby was fighting really bad, we got a hold of each other and decided to meet and have breakfast, well we went to dairy queen and had a burger and i just listened to her talk... ( and that was great)However... My wife is a extremely jealous type and texted me and asked where i was and i told her and she showed up un-announced with the kids, so after about 15 min my cousin and i left and went to show me her new house that her and her hubby was gonna buy. She showed me upstairs and downstairs. Now before dairy queen happened and i had her in my car, i was holding her hand and we were talking, and i enjoyed listening to her talk alot. We both knew what was coming. When we got to her new house and got downstairs ( it was just her and me) i came up behind her stomach and starting rubbing and kissed her on her neck, then proceeded to her earlobes and one thing led to another and we had a great time! She told me that she loved what i did and that no other guy had done that to her. I was happy to hear that. We have been in touch almost everyday via text or sometimes when i can get her... phone. It however does seem like ever since we did do it she somewhat keeps trying to avoid  me. So i am giving her space.

Now i have been married for almost 17 years.. ( she has been un-faithful once and so have i) with the exception that i caught her. However, ever since then there has been no trust ( Or very little)..now i know this may piss off some people, but she started to gain weight and it is unattractive to me. ( Anotherwords, its difficult for me to get excited, and stay excited). The reason i say that is because she does NOTHING spontaneous and only believes that it should be done in the bedroom and she wants on top until she gets off and then shes done. What REALLY pisses me off is that she just gets undresses and lays in bed.. doesn't bother to make a move on me (EVER), she does not like being licked on down there and wonders why i have a hard time staying excited. However, anytime i am around my cousin , i don't have a issue. She has told me that she loves me almost everyday, and i tell her the same.. it's just sometimes it takes her a while to get back. We are still talking to this day... but still trying to give her space. We have not had sex but just that once. However i know she wants to do it again and i do as well.

I would also like to state that my wife has a leash on me and wants to know EVERYWHERE  and EVERYTHING  i go and do. So you know the trust is gone.

I am not even sure i am in love with her anymore.. and YES there is a point in there where there is a "Im not sure".. it's not just yes or no.

My cousin and i like i said are still talking , but i know that she thinks about me and i think about her.


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so, you're unhappy that your fat wife isn't doing her part to keep your pecker wet, and that gives you an excuse to go get laid somewhere else. does that about sum it up?

being a real man isn't about how seductive you can be, or how justified you can make adultery seem. being a real man is about keeping the vow you made to love your wife in sickness and in health, in skinny jeans and in a fat suit. it's about getting your head out of your ass long enough to realize that your wife probably hates how she looks as much as you do, and that has an unbelievable impact on her own sexuality, which is why she's not interested in screwing all over the house... and in fact doesn't even make any moves in the bedroom. you think she doesn't know how disgusted you are with her appearance? you think it doesn't hurt her to the core that you don't love her anymore?

and being a real man is about putting CHILDREN first. yours and hers. to act on your feelings for another woman will you are still married to their mother is the ultimate act of indifference to them. they will see that as not loving them.  it is the ultimate act of betrayal for a child, just as it is for their mother.

and your cousin's husband. didn't you call him a friend? you can stop calling him that, because you are no friend to him. you're really not even any kind of friend to your cousin, for that matter, because you're putting your own selfish hormonal desires before what is in her best interest. ripping apart her family, destroying her relationship with her kids, betraying the man she married, and guaranteeing a nasty, hateful, painful divorce with possible custody fights that rip the kids to pieces is something that neither of you may be thinking about now, but i guarantee they will come to pass.

and do you think that kind of stress that your selfish actions (and hers) put you both under is going to make for a healthy relationship between the two of you? think again. it will cause an underlying damage that will always undermine any good stuff you two might share.

and one last thing... your cousin will one day become less interested in sex, too. in fact, she's probably already disinterested in sex with her husband. it happens after years with the same person. and then someone else will come along and get her motor revved up, just like you're doing now.

you don't deserve your wife. nor does she deserve you. i hope you'll be honest with her. if you don't want her, offer her a divorce... and be damned generous with the settlement, because you don't get to play the victim here.

oh, and then go tell your "friend" how you've been sniffing after his wife.

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