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Those darn roads

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So it seems to me my cousin and I are on different paths. He likes his smooth flat peaceful dirt road leading around and around but never really going far. I like the way that goes up and down and I can never really see quite where I'm going but it's exciting. I have a feeling my path doesn't actually lead anywhere either, in fact his road is more likely to go somewhere in the world, as I tend to go this way then that, backtracking and going on detours, but I wouldn't choose his way.

His way frustrates me to no end, cause I can never convince him to leave it and come to mine. Perhaps it is wrong of me to try, but when he never really strays we can't very well meet up. I think our roads are diverging further and further. Maybe we can find a trail between the two, but that is only if he wants to.

I'm all for hopping onto other paths, it's kinda what I do at this stage in my life, but I cannot go on his. It requires patience and diligence to beat a well travelled path. A sameness and order that I've never possessed. I probably will reach some sort of stability one day, but not now, not here. Here is stagnant waters, where thriving is out of the question. Here, I fear, the water may evaporate and be no more and I will have to move on and find water elsewhere.

I realise I am short sighted and flighty. I'm pretty sure that's fairly common for people my age, and I could stand to learn a thing or two from my cousin's steadiness. Yet, I still sometimes want to scream in frustration and call him a coward for not having the courage to step onto more unfamiliar paths, and then wonder if "us" is even "meant to be" since it seems so much more difficult than it should be.

Hawk, I think all in all Florida is too foreign for him to ever uproot himself and move there. Possibly California. Especially if he can get a job there. Sometimes I am concerned I do not mean much to him because it seems he must have other rationale for bold moves. I alone am not a good enough reason. Sensible of him, perhaps, but not very passionate.


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