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fell in love whit my secound cousin

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here goes some you things you might need to know at the start of this :

-Im 14 and shes less than a year younger than me she even looks older

- Unfortunaly my dad and her dad are super close like if they were brothers

-I live in portugal she lives in germany but she always comes here to see her family during her vacation

So now that thats done i will take about us , so ive meet her a long time ago but we werent no closer than just strangers btw english is my secound language sorry for any spelling errors . But today both our familys went to the beach in spain and we realy bounded there we spent ours flirting and she said she was gona ask something but she forgot i think it was something about us but since we are secound cousins she shouldnt ask about it . That day was awesome and shes curently passing her vacation in her gandmothers house wich is just next ot my grandmothers house and since its super boring in there wen we got there from the beach she asked her mom if she could spend some days in my house maybe even sleep there and she was totaly fine whit it btw she was flirting whit me more than i was flirting whit here so i think she also likes me and idk how to do this since our familys are super close . Sorry if this post is a mess i just need help on what to do

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  • Moderator

Stick around pedros, I don't have time to give my standard speech to young members, and I may not be back on here until Monday. Perhaps one of the other mods will quote me. I've said it so many times, I would think they have it memorized.

If you haven't got the "broken record speech" by the time I get back, I'll give it to you.


I will tell you this: Second cousins can get married anywhere in the world, so far as we know. That is WAY out in front of where you two are, as young as you are, but something to keep in the back of your mind if things start to get awkward. It isn't unheard of by any means, and it use to be much more common than it is today.

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  • Administrator

and at 13 and 14 years old, your dad and hers should put a stop to things.

but you won't be 13 and 14 forever. there is plenty of time, so don't rush things. just enjoy being friends and cousins for now. trust me, in spite of the raging hormones that you're feeling at this age, if you two want something that will last forever, you NEED a good four or five year foundation of friendship.  without it, any romance is doomed to failure. and by the time you've reached the end of high school, your dads will probably recognize the strength of the bond that was developed by staying platonic, and will most likely support the two of you moving beyond friendship.

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  • Moderator

Pedros: you and your cousin are quite young. However, I will not dismiss the feelings you may have for your her; my cousin and I had feelings for each other when we were your age (now we are much older!).

Sometimes young love is the real deal and sometimes it is not. Only the test of time will tell you. Most often young romances do not endure. Perhaps you will be the exception, who knows!

For now, you should focus on your friendship. Whatever you do, do not become intimate with this girl, you will both regret it. Work hard at school, develop some interests, pursue activities that make you happy and be a friend to your cousin. In a few years, you will know of the two of you want to pursue a romance or not.

It may seem hard to not act upon your feelings right now, but it's the wisest thing to do.

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