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DB2055

intimacy

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For those of you that have been intimate with a cousin was the experience more intense than a "regular" relationship?

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new romances are always more intense, whether or not it's with a cousin. intensity is a cumulation of many things.... the 'taboo' aspect is one that most certainly contributes to the intensity. but don't confuse intensity with longevity. my mom told me once that she knew what mark and i had was the real thing because it lacked the drama that goes hand in hand with intensity.

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I always find this question fascinating.

For starters, I'm no spring chicken and have had my fair share of relationships, and can honestly say that the relationship with my cousin  is more of a lot of things than with any other I've had.

More passionate (we both have strong personalities)

More intimate (not merely in the sexual realm)

More honest

More fun

More laughing

More relaxed

Simpler

Easier

Is this because we're cousins?  I don't think so. 

Is it because we waited so long to embark on this relationship?  Maybe.

Is it because we are mature enough to know what we want and need in a relationship and are willing to compromise in the day-to-day of living?  Likely

LadyC is right that the 'taboo' aspect of cousin relationships does make them more intense in the beginning.  But a relationship with a cousin is no different that one with some random person you met along life's way.  No matter who you are with, there will be ups and downs, times you are spitting angry at one another and times when you are so proud of your partner you could burst.  Some days you are feeling frisky and others you just want to curl up in your flannel jammies and watch a chick flick.  Sometimes life is uneventful and sometimes you are inundated with problems.  You cannot rely on the "intensity" of a relationship to sustain you.  Only mutual commitment to  one another with give you sustainability. 

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great answer!

young people always confuse 'intimacy' with sex, and 'intensity' with the heat of their physical response. and i don't say that as a criticism, just as an observation. i was young too, once.... it takes a lot of years (and a lot of mistakes and broken relationships) to learn that true intimacy goes far beyond the physical, and that intensity isn't about how hot the fire burns, but how long it will stay lit no matter how much water is thrown onto it along the way.

but when people ask the question, i know they're asking from the perspective of youth and hormonal reactions. that doesn't make their feelings any less real, it's just that there isn't enough experience there to know the difference.

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