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      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

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Pitbull

What just happened??

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So my cousin and I have been hanging out ALOT and if we're not together were texting , I'm 22 (male) she's 21  I have already told her my feelings and at first she was okay with it we talked about it she was curious , and I'm pretty sure she had them to , ever since I told her we've gotten closer we've almost kissed she's placed my hand on her behind  to show it wasn't weird and put my arm around her waist calling me attractive many times obvious signs I'd say. Last night i guess we got too close because my grandparents called my mom saying they think we had a crush on each other Then today she sends me a text saying. We can't talk about my feelings anymore she thinks its just a phase and it makes her feel weird and uncomfortable to talk about but she still wants to be friends cause I'm like a brother and I don't know what to do now I'm inlove with her, the warm fuzzy feeling my heart races when we're close and I want it to go further much further but I don't know what to do..

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There's a lot your cousin is feeling, and I think that maybe giving her some space to figure it out may be best. Between the typical "taboo" nature of the possibility, as well as all the normal confusions of any relationship, your cousin may just be overwhelmed. You did say that she was "curious" and such. As much as you want to have that relationship continue, you need to give her time to collect herself. Let her know that you will give her some room, and that if she needs you, she can reach you. When a good while passes, have a good honest and open conversation to see where you and she stand. She may realize she wants to give it a shot. Conversely, you may come across someone else that interests you. Until that day comes along, try to not think about it and what you may (or may not) potentially lose. Worst case scenario is that the relationship will not happen. You will find someone who loves you and you will still have her in your life.

Time is key, and honest communication is a must.

I'm sure the chips will fall where they may.

All the best to you, and wish you luck!

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Thank you for you're response and advice , I did just as you said and well.. I'm not quite sure.. We're still great friends  I haven't discussed it with her since she asked me not to.

But here's where it gets weird.. She

offers me to be her roommate at least

twice a month which I finally accepted  .. And for my birthday I got an amazing kiss... 2 actually both with tongue..

And the last time we were together we spent a week together,  we got really drunk and  she kinda had a crying moment where she said she was afraid of breaking my heart...she ended up laying in my lap holding my hand till she feel asleep....

and she keeps bringing up how "tight" she is below the belt  ( I apologize if vulgar but its relevant) ...

But then 10 minutes later brings up her boyfriend... Who she says she's inlove with..  Any chance anyone knows what's going on here?  Cause I don't and I really don't want to read the situation wrong.. Really would hate to loose her

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In my honest opinion, for your best interest, it would do you well not to pursue her. Kissing you while she has a boyfriend is cheating, plain and simple. Let alone having sexually charged conversations. If she has no problem cheating on him, how could you ever trust that she wouldn't do the same to you? Infidelity is no way to start a relationship.

As for her feelings, it sounds like she finds you attractive, but sex is as far as she would like for things to go. Seems like she's conflicted by her physical desire for you and her commitment to her boyfriend. Either way, she doesn't seem very loyal. My advice? Drop this altogether and date other women. If, someday, you're both available and still interested, give it a go.

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