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      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

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Guest loved7980

being kept in New Hampshire

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So, in New Hampshire, it is not legal for first cousins to marry, however, it is not considered incest under the incest laws.  My cousin is now pregnant with my child,  But we are being stopped from moving to Massachusetts which is just twenty minutes away by my cousins ex husband who knows about us, but since they have kids together, he is keeping us from moving.

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does she have custody of the kids or something? she should consult a lawyer for clarification on the divorce. most of the time where one can move is determined by distance or driving time, not so much by a state line. and even if it is, requesting a judge to change that to distance or drive time so that moving 20 minutes away should be a relatively easy and inexpensive thing, and hopefully would not even need her ex to be a part of the hearing.

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loved7980,

He cannot stop you from moving to Massachusetts. He can only add to the expense of doing so. If it is only 20 min. away, make the plans to move, let him file for whatever he feels he has to file with the court, and go from there. With it only being 20 min. away, there shouldn't have to be any change in visitation, and that is the only issue the court would be interested in. It just means he has to drive a little farther to pick up the kids. Or, you meet him at a convenient spot somewhere in between.

The first ex and I moved from Illinois to Georgia back in the 80's. I would be willing to bet he was a LOT bigger turd about it than her ex is being, and, thank God me and her were NOT kin. Obviously, he pitched a fit because his visitation would be going from every other weekend to select holidays and summer months. And, of just as much importance to him, was jacking us around, of which him and her mother were professionals, and in cahoots. That was half the reason we were moving, to get away from their BS. The other reason was I was getting a job at Lockheed. It cost us, back then mind you, a cool $1000 to have the change of visitation papers drawn up. When the judge saw that "petitioner" was moving for work, and it involved me going to work for Lockheed, it was a done deal, and Buttercup and Ma had to just suck it up. So, like I said, he can spout all kind of threats, but, in reality you can move 20 hrs away, and there is damn little other than complain about it that he can do. He can file for custody, but, unless she can be proven unfit, the court isn't buying that. Your relationship isn't criminal, and even if your cousin was with another woman, and there are criminal statutes to that effect in NH (which I doubt as well) it would be the same thing. The court would want demonstrable proof that she is unfit as a mother before her custodial rights would be abridged. It's sour grapes on his part, and it's only a matter of how hard you want to shove them down his throat. He can find any number of shysters who will take his $$$ and stroke his ego, and tell him he can win. You only need one lawyer who will tell you they have no case. I'd be looking for that person. If you are close enough that the visitation doesn't change, move, and respond when papers are served. The custodial parent can take the children out of State. To live out of State, there may have to be some paperwork. He can ask for a restraining order, but if the visitation isn't changed, it ain't happening. What if you two decided to not get married, but were going to move 20 min. the other direction in NH? He, as in your planned scenario, has to drive a little farther. Oh well. People move around all the time.

Shop around for a family lawyer, feel free to show them this thread, and get them on retainer. Realize you may find several who have a personal bias against cousin couples, and you may have to shop around until you find one that is willing to set down with you. But, believe me, this should be a piece of cake for a lawyer to have a response prepared or prepare a change to the custodial parents' State of residence. You are not moving to skirt or break the law, you are moving to make it legal..... BIG difference.

Speaking of which, I don't have time to go into it, BUT, you will also want to see if NH has verbiage in their marriage statutes about "skirting" the law. If they have no wording to the effect of "Parties may not marry in another State specifically to avoid this statute" or some such similar wording, you could hoppy skip on over to Massachusetts and get married, come back, and then you don't have to move anywhere. At that point, he absolutely has no case. Before you spend the first dime, it behooves you to look into that.

I see LadyC has read my mind, just not so "windily."    LOL

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We tried to move to south Carolina already, which is 18 percent cheaper cost of living, and housing 40 percent cheaper (according to cnn money), and the courts said absolutely no, we files an emergency motion about allowing us to go to mass last week, and the courts said no.  Basically, we think he is trying to keep us out of mass because he know we can get married there.    Unfortunately, New Hampshire has a loophole law, our marriage would get immediately annulled if the state ever found out - her ex husband will make sure they find out.  Sadly, New Hampshire voted on cousin marriage a few years ago, and denied the new law to allow it

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loved7980,

You need a different lawyer. Is this ex of hers somehow politically connected? I don't get it. I smell a rat in the puddin' somewhere. You should find a different lawyer, AND a different judge. (Assuming the same one has made both denials) OR, move the other direction to another jurisdiction in NH, THEN file papers. Let him do a little footwork. In fact, if it were me, I would move to the other end of the State if at all possible. Away from whatever pull he (or his lawyer) has to be able to stop you from leaving NH. Did your lawyer appeal these decisions? If not, he should have. Especially the latest one, if you are not moving so far as to have the visitation altered. Something stinks in NH Bub. It could get pricey, but keep diggin'. Possibly go for a State Rep or Senator who has a law practice. The price may go up, but I would bet the results would be worth it.

Of course, if you're going to be out the money anyhow, you could always do as our Admin Colorado Married would do, go elsewhere and get married, then challenge the State's effort to annul it. He has already considered his argument if he is to ever find himself in that situation. He has case law setting related precedent, and I'm as confident as he is that he would prevail. 

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I agree with Hawk = you need to get a good lawyer.

Good luck and do please keep us posted.

HUGS

Nat

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