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Not love, I just need help to get in her pants

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First off this isn't a virgin who's really horny. I already had sex plenty of times.

Don't judge me, I don't love her in a way of marriage, I just find her really attractive and if we could be cousins with benefits then that's a win win.

Anyways I'm 20, male, and she's 19. We kind of had a thing between us years ago but that was just touching. It kind of changed after she got religious but I still see her looking at me but when family is around she ignores me. Even when we are alone now she sits on the other couch. I just want tips on how to fix that sexual thing we had between us years ago. I want to go all the way with her but things just got to awkward between us. I got till December to see her again. until then the only thing I can think of is working on my body to arouse her. We she comes down chances are we'll be sleeping in the living room with a bunch of other cousins at the family house.

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  • Administrator

well heck. at least you were decent enough not to write details of what you have done or want to do with her, and i appreciate that. we've had several people over the years post similar stories to yours, only with enough graphic details to make it worthy of a porn site. the fact that you didn't do that speaks to you having a little integrity, so i'm going to appeal to that side of you.

don't try to get her in bed.

look, you say she got religious. now, i know you don't fancy yourself in love with her, but hopefully you care about her a little in some sort of way. she needs to focus on her spiritual walk with God and not let her hormones get in the way of that relationship by having sex before marriage... and marriage isn't even a consideration in your mind.

secondly, what you're wanting is to just use her. trust me, girls aren't like guys. ESPECIALLY ones that have started "getting religious". guys can separate the physical from the emotional. girls just can't. they TRY sometimes, and they can claim that they can have casual sex without getting emotionally involved, but they say that because they've been socially brainwashed to be "liberated". they lie because they are expected to not be clingy. they lie to the guys they get involved with, the girls they are friends with, and mostly they lie to themselves.

add to that the simple fact that you are related and it's a recipe for disaster. from your side of things, you just want to have a sexual fling with no strings attached and no emotional baggage with someone who is your cousin. SHE will not be able to keep things so neatly compartmentalized. she may very well still feel an attraction to you (and it sounds kinda like she does), but that's like a stick of TNT. if things got physical, she'd want more. you wouldn't be able to give more. she'd be attached, she'd feel betrayed and hurt, and she'd be consumed with a myriad of emotions that will scar her, and BECAUSE you're family, she won't be able to just put it behind her and move on. she will be reminded for the rest of her life at every family reunion, wedding, funeral, or any other occasion where your family might gather. it may be something that she will NEVER  be able to get over.

so no matter how strong this attraction is, if you give a rat's patootie about what kind of damage you could do to her world, don't pursue this. in fact, if the subject ever comes up, please be sure to be blunt with her, that you only want a bootie call and have no interest in ever really being with her aside from sex. yeah, sounds cold, but in the long run, she'll appreciate the honesty.

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LadyC has covered it all - but IF your relatives are like mine, I'd say you were setting up an interesting way to commit suicide.  Your attitude is like a wild animal.  Your cousin's family members just might take care of your "death wish".  I do know if she were my child and I don't have a daughter, you would have an emphatic encounter with my smaller cast iron frying pan.  Light enough to swing and heavy enough to put you away.

There is a saying:  "You can't fix stupid."  I will add you CAN educate ignorance - I hope our responses will educate you before it is too late.


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If you love your cousin at all please do not use her for sex. You are

going to destroy her world and cause so much hurt to everyone it

could be irreparable to the whole family. Even if she finds you

attractive and agrees, she will have no idea how badly she will

be hurt until it is too late. Having sex with your cousin with no

love is a not what a real loving cousin would even think of doing.

It is maybe the most damaging thing you could ever do to her.

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