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Guest Nj

I don't know what to do

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I feel like I'm dying. My aunt just discovered the messages between my cousin and I , and sent me a message to stop or she will speak with her husband about everything. I feel devasted because I don't know what to do. I don't know if she spoke to my cousin already. I don't know what he wants to do. I don't want to break up or stop talking to him. I feel like it is so unfair that others would try to get in the way of someone's harmless and personal happiness. I want to message him but I don't know if its safe. I don't want to cause him trouble that he might not want. :( by the way my cousin is 19 and I'm 23, if someone wanted to know.

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she really doesn't have much say in the matter since you're both legal adults. other than cutting him off financially (if he is dependant on them) there's nothing she can do to stop you.

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Nj,

^^^ That right thar, AND, if my lookup is right, it's perfectly legal for the two of you to get married where you are. Way ahead of where you are, but, good to know anyhow. Remember though, he may be an adult, but he's a YOUNG adult, and probably still pretty susceptible to their influence. This may have to go on the back burner for a couple years or so, until,,,,,,, well, I don't want to put it as crudely as the first thought that hit my mind was, but, let's just say, until he's fully a man...

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In my case I NEED HELP, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO, AND THIS FEELING IS DRIVING ME CRAZYY!!!!    HEPL ME PLEASEE!!

Hi guys I am new here, if I wrote my story in the wrong place you'll let me know!

I am a young and tall 21 years old Haitian girl almost 22, I came in the US when I was 19.

First of all I grew up in a small island with some members of my family and many other cousins (girls and boys) I have, now I live with my mom, my big sister and my little niece in the US. So far, I've been living here for almost 3 years.

It all started when my cousin out of all the others in the US (HIS BROTHERS AND SISTERS) decided to come seeing me, now he is 24 yrs old abt to be 25 soon, he was born in Haiti too but he came here at the age of 2 which makes him like a real native american lol :tongue: (We were both born in November, we have so much things in common), since day one I fell for him (his green eyes caught my attention) and I don't know if it was my imagination but it seemed like he fell for me as well that time, you know sometimes you can tell what the reaction of a guy is and it can be so obvious when they notice the beauty of a girl; the expression of their face changes immediately, then that's exactly what happened he came to me after he finished eating the food I gave him and his little sister (he brought his lil sis with him to see me) and ask me a question to get to know me, so as I was talking and smiling (I was shy) I could see the change in his face: "his face got totally serious as I was smiling. it's like he was surprised of what he was seeing". I hope you guys get what I am trying to say. In fact, when my mom came in the house he automatically told her how pretty I was right after my mom asked him if he saw me, he said it twice. So, that proved me that I was right about him liking me or loving me at first sight too.

Eventually, we started getting to know each other, we would text often times, he would come to visit often time also. And the whole time guys he would come in the house it is a struggle for me to relax because as soon as I know he is walking up the stairs or he's outside waiting for the door to be open my heart would start racing and I could start shaking a little.

Every time he left I would start missing him, wanting his presence so bad, then one day I decided to let him know I miss him and he always replied nicely and let me know that he missed me and the family as well. (I could see him trying to always include the family maybe just to not make it awkward compared to now if he wants to tell me he misses me he will only say he misses me not the family as well).

So, we got got to the point where we could start talking about sex through messages, I was the one to always ask him question to know him better but he never dared asking me. One day I told him to go ahead and ask me anything he wants as well, he didn't want to because he said the question he was gonna ask his about my private life.

I knew he would say that because I could tell that he is very naughty, there was one day he wanted to know if I was still virgin, (but he did not come directly to me, he went to my sister to ask then my sister came to me with him behind letting me know his question), because he saw me looking at some sexy lingerie at a store. I was so surprised and and shocked before I could let him know that I still am (he was very surprised of that confidence). So that answer maybe haunted him. Finally I convinced him and he decided to ask me why was I still virgin and why did I wait so long? That time guys I was 19 and him 22, but I am actually still Virgin.

I want to briefly give you some details about him so that you can judge what type of person he is, find some signs that may show if yes or no he got feelings for me as well or is attracted by me!!

We would text each other so much that he would start expressing how much I make him laugh out loud, how much he is happy I came in the US, as a result all this time he would come to visit, and 88% of our communication we would have would be about sex late nights, his experiences, his love story, his passion for sex and my desire to taste it one day. He would want to visit us so much to the point that my mom and my sis would complain to me of him coming home too much (my mom would start notice something is going between us two), they knew he was the one I text day and night!!

There was one night our sex chat got very intense, I told him how I wanted to have sex with someone I love, that I can't do it with someone who doesn't want a relationship like him, how much it dives me crazy to be single at this age, he got excited to the fact that I told him I cannot finger myself and I want to stay tight, so he told me that I make him want to find a virgin to have sex immediately. omg! that was so hot!! (I don't know if in his mind he wish I wasn't his first cousin so that we could have sex) but that time it was a all night long sexting!!!

(He is sexually active and a real freak, he doesn't want to have any serious relationship right now because in his early age he had 2 sad relationships with two women who basically played with his feeling, so right now he just let any woman know that he doesn't want anything serious but sex, he rather hide his feeling).

But with him guys I felt so special, omg!!! I love him, I started giving him sweet names, annoying him or hitting up very often (most of the time I was the one to constantly putting on a front and he would always let me know that I do not bother him). But I did not care because I just love to contact him, he was my friend, my twin because he is a scorpion like me, because he would hit me up too once he didn't hear from me from a while!! He is my type, the type of guys that attract me, everything abt him turn me on: "his voice, his hands, his light skin skin, his eyes, the way he's so caring towards his homies.

There were so many signs that proved me he could be into me or attracted by me too because of the fact I am his type, he likes all women but he told me he likes light skin, curvy, tall and pretty and I have all these characteristics, I could catch him staring at me and my face, getting lost looking at my round hips and butt every time I wear Tight, I so loved it, OH I LOVED THE FEELING OF SEEING HIM SO LOST IN ME SOMETIMES so I would never say nothing but let him do it!!

He even told me one day that he can't wait for me to have sex for the first time, everytime he thinks of me discovering it he get jealous because it is going to be SOOO GOOD!!! (what do you think of that guys? please let me know)

Unfortunately, we started clashing, there was one time we did not talk for at least a month because I said something that hurt his feeling, omg!! I was so sad the fact that I did not hear from him for so long, he stop visiting, texting, even liking my posts on Facebook for a while. I couldn't handle it so I decided to text him to apologize and he explained what was going on is that he wanted space from me, he thought we were too close and what I insulted him. He got over it and we started all over again, we got even closer than before, he again started texting, visiting, helping me, and calling me sweet name as well, he once jumped on me while I was on my bed studying (I LIKE THAT!), he would always try to make a joke to make me laugh whether it's on Facebook or when texting, he got so comfy that he gave me a BIG KISS on my cheek on day, he would always compliment me about my outfit, that I am such a cutie and that's reason some are attracted by me, he finally express himself and let me know he loved me after we found out there was a misunderstanding between us which cause we didn't talk for a while again, he one day inserted his finger in my belly button ( I was wearing a short shirt), we would even be on Facebook texting or commenting on each other posts. His likes on Facebook meant 1000 likes, I ended up posting stuffs that I am sure he will like.

But then again, something just happened 2 months ago!!

We are not talking no more for now!!

Oh GOD!! I don't know what to do, I miss him!!!! HOW CAN I GET OVER THIS WEIRD FEELING!! (I don't even know if this is driving him crazy too)

This time he hurt me, I posted something on Facebook and obviously he did not like it, so we were kinda of fighting by expressing our own opinions until one of his comments got deleted by accident and that aggravated him more, But I swear I did not know what Happened, I was using my phone and for some reason his last comment was deleted

when I told him I did not know what happened he didn't believe me and he said that it will never comment in any of my posts!! OMG GUYS CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW MUCH THAT HURT ME!

So I automatically in-boxed him to explain and tell him I am not lying and that I have no strength to fight with him, I explained him everything and I could tell he was trying to be nice not to be rude, few minutes after I noticed all his comments were deleted, I asked him and he told me that it was him who deleted them, he was trying to reply with some emoji cause he knows that I can get mad, maybe he was trying to make it seems it's not a big deal. At the end, I told him to do whatever he wants.

Since then, things are BLAH between us.

the last time he came home it was because my sister convinced him to come visit his Grand-Aunt (we invited him to come a week ago, and that day when we contacted him he said he was working and he forgot abt the visit, I had a feeling he was trying to avoid seeing me after what happened and that he was lying), but my sister convinced him to come (but my sister did not know what was going on).

when he came you could tell he was kinda embarrassed but we hugged, we talked a lil, I did my best to not ignore him or be rude, until he decided to say something like: "I was going to text, to tell you that I miss you"

I wasn't satisfied, he knew what he did, that's not what I wanted from him but his apology, so I made it seems like I was touched by that, he later try to tease me the whole time he was home but I was naturally distant though and I am sure he could notice it.

Days after he left I texted him once cause I needed some information from him, but then I could feel he wasn't as much excited as he used to before.

Since Then we never spoke

he tried to tag me in some other posts on Facebook then he eventually stopped, He started liking all the comments in other posts and then he stopped again, but I was not satisfied cause he still couldn't hit me up

there was this last time he did something I still can't understand: he inboxed both my sister in a cheerful way to provide us info abt free movies, it took me time to reply cause I couldn't understand what he was saying but I eventually did and post something new on my page afterwards, I don't know if he didn't see my message he went ahead commenting on that last post saying: "so you can post but ignore my message!" guys I had to ignore it for a while, then after that he deleted it, I don't know if he was trying to do but when I asked him what did he say in the comment he said (I acted like I didn't see it): "never mind too slow"

Now he only rather inboxes both me and my sister about free movies and he's pretty brief!!

He never textes me, never calls, never inboxes me personally, he Never admitted or decided to apologize for what he did, And I am pretty sure he is aware of what is going on between us

AND THE FACT THAT HIS REACTING LIKE THAT IS DRIVING ME CRAZY!

because then it makes me think that all this time maybe I was the one who loved him that much, maybe he got over it and I am the only one still missing him and sad about it

I eventually told my mom and sis of what he did, but I can't deeply let them know how much I am dying

WHY IS HE BEING SO SILENT, it seems like he put the fault on me like I am the one responsible for what is happening, why is he so distant, why can't he at least ask me how I am doing?????

The last time he called he only talked to my lil niece and my mother (he asked my mom abt me and if I found a job yet)!

But why is he doing that, why can't he just call me like he used to? OMG!!

Do you think his reactiong is due to the fact that fact his mad because he wants me to forgive him????!!!

 

GUYS!!

HELP!!!!!

AM I OVER REACTING? AM I TOO SENSITIVE?

DO I STILL NEED TO WAIT FOR HIM TO DO THE FIRST MOVE?

Because in my opinion he should not be so proud of himself with me, the one who was his buddy, his closest friend who used to make him laugh!!

I am so mad at him from stopping me interacting with him on Facebook!!

I have a reason to be mad at him because I have seen him interacting with other girl friends on facebook, calling some of them "BUDDY", helping some of them, flirting, sending some smiley faces at them,

How are you able to interact so happily with these temporary friends when the person who was the closest to you isn't talking to you, but all the time we used to interact on Facebook I never saw him get that much excited to interact with them like that, he even complained to us at home that he doesn't consider some of them as his best friends

And then now looking at you!!!

I get jealous, hurt, sad!!!

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!

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