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      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

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I'm in love with my 2nd cousin, and he's 7 years older than me.

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I need help. I have just recently gained serious feelings for my 21 year old cousin. I am 14.!! Yes, I am aware this is illegal, but I just can't help myself when I see him, or even hear his name I melt. I'm scared. What should I do. He admitted he liked me too. Is this wrong.? HELP.!!

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I am in the same position too, but I have fallen in love with me 14 year cous and I am 29...

It is not illegal to be in love with someone minor or well above your age though. As long as you don't do anything illegal, like have sex or similiar, it shouldn't matter. I say that love is ageless and age is but a number.

So if you decide to be with each other, just make sure you don't do anything too physical until you've turned 15 (or 16 or whatever your legal age for that is in your country).

Love is never wrong, no matter how old you both are as long as you don't do anything inappropriate with each other.

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Having just gone through something similar (I'm 20, my cousin is 16) the best piece of advice I can give you is to wait.

Take things slow and just be friends for now.  If your feelings are as serious as you say they are then they will hold for a couple years.

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I wanted to tell you my story,give you some perspective  and apologise in advance for my grammar!!

This was me a long time ago I first met my beloved 2nd cousin at 12 and was the same age as you when I fell in love with mine, he was 8 years older than me but close enough to apply to you. We became friends first and then that grew over time into love, it became physical when I turned 17. I am now 24 and engaged to another man my cousin married yesterday to someone else and I did not attend the wedding it was both painful and a relief.

My universe centred on this man the sun rose and set on him  and I was young and too naive to see the truth, being with your cousin is hard one of the hardest things ever ,it causes such joy and happiness but also undescribable pain. You see if you add in the age issue society is a little more cruel ie paedophile comments and  things like "why is he with a child ?" alongside "eww your cousins!" I say these things not to scare you off but to make you realise it is not all sunshine and roses

In our case he was just too afraid of how people would react and he later broke it off with me later that year ,well actually he just walked away without explaining why and of course I was devastated. My family knew everything and supported us his I am not so sure what they knew.

So I beg you my dear focus on school,friends and having fun  because if you truly intend to go down this path you will need courage,a thick skin,trust and much more. I cannot say if it will work out for you it didn't for us and he has shaped so much of my personality I love and hate him , sometimes in equal measures.

He was not brave enough to fight for us during our last "couple" conversation he admitted many things such as if we weren't related we would be together. Let me tell you that one stung and  it left me heartbroken I am only just getting closure and my fiance is thankfully a very understanding man. So I ask you to think carefully about how you feel because  I know how cruel love can be especially with added complications.

I hope this helps to give you another viewpoint or you can take it with a pinch of salt .

If  I had to do it all again would I knowing how painfull it got in the end?  I honestly don't know. If you love him wait and see what happens don't rush anything and above all don't make him your world  please take care hon.


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