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Together Forever

Help, advice, confused!!

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Okay so I love my cousin, i always have but always try to forget him but can't! So recently I accepted that fact I can't get over him!! So I'm taking my shot!! There Are signs of him may liking me but I'm not sure!! Here are the signs!!

1- messaging me on face book put of the blue (never does that)

2-hugging me like when I go to my uncles house or when I see him but his hugs aren't like they use to be! They used to by just hug without anything no pat or anything the hug never meant anything! But now their like longer and he stays just paring my with circles thats the best way I can explain it!!

3- like my uncle called my dad and my uncle thought is was my sister and I said it wasn't and said who I was, then I guess (pretty sure) my cousin was in the area and heard my uncle say "ooh ______..." And then my cousin just screams "hi____" ( he never did that!!

4- so I usually say to everyone I never want to marry family but I do cuz he's the only family member I will love (trust me on that) but like I was at my dads an uncles store, so I was there, he was there, my sister was there and so wa his dad my uncle!! And the subject marriage came! And he wants to for sure marry someone from our country!! So then out of the blue (never ever said this before, cuz he promised his dad he would marry family!) he just said "but I won't marry family"

After. I heard that I was so upset and so sad and couldn't take it!! And I honestly don't know what to think!! I would really like some help and opinions!!! Ever since that happened I have been doing research but was not able to find anything!! Would really like some advice!!

Just let y'all  know I'm from the U.S. the state of Maryland🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸! The giy I'm in love with ⬆️⬆️❤️ Is only 2 years older than me!! (Which is perfect!!)

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Just wanted to let you guys know that I'm Muslim, nothing from Middle East, or Asia, I'm from north Africa that's where my country is!! And it is very legal for family marriage, but don't know if it is in the United states though I have lived here my entire life!!

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Together Forever,

In Maryland, it is legal. http://www.cousincouples.com/?page=states

Now, getting him to admit and commit is where you are with this. Subtle hints, should he ever again say "not family" would be in order. Like, if he said that, say "Well, in Maryland it's legal at least...." Of course, that's not too subtle now is it? You may enlist your Dad to aid your cause. Could you confide in him? If so, I have a feeling him and his brother, your uncle, DO know how to subtly steer him toward you. He may be considering it, but, because of the stigma here, trying to deny it. That's what it sounds like to me anyhow. Should your Fathers nudge him a little, perhaps he would admit his true feelings.

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I honest can't tell anyone, I'm that person that doesn't tell anyone anything! But I do want to tell my feelings to my cousin!! But I would to know if there is any signs o him feeling the same way! But my real question is: How would I get him to hint that i have feelings for him!? Like I don't want to make it to obvious but I also don't want something that won't make sense. I want to hint it so he can think about it and maybe ask about what I said! Any advice on that or anything on this website?

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Well, while I'm 14 and am not the best at this stuff, I say you should ask him what he "truly" thinks about cousin marriage.  If he says, "No, that's just wrong, it isn't legal and ahpuls never happen," or anything close to that, say, "but it is legal, and it is accepted throughout most of the world.  The US is one of the only places that doesn't accept it." Just try and convince him that it isn't bad, and it's the US misguided view on morals that makes people think it is.

Cousin love is truly a beautiful thing, and I say go for it.  You don't regret what you did do, you  regret what you didn't do.

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I'll be honest I do like what you said because I do go for things!! And definitely take risks!! But when it comes to him it feels like I can't do anything and can't say what I want to say!! And don't get me wrong but the only reason I say I don't want to marry family is because so he doesn't know that I have feelings for him!! But I just want something to say to him that will hint that I have feelings for him but will make him think about what I said!! Do you know what I mean!?!? Thanks by the way!! This is honestly the only way I can do this!! I really like this website!!

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Well, I always try to help.  I know what love can feel like.  It can be the best, and the worst feeling in the world.  Also, I would try and help further, but I don't know your current relationship with him.  My third cousin and I had been best friends for a while when we fell ion love, and had already been planning on running off to be together, so nothing I did might work for you.  I never knew the feeling of loving a family member and them not knowing, so I can't emagine how you may feel.  I hope the best for you, and if it hapless, great.  I just hope you do something you won't regret instead of not doing something you will. 

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Thank you, I just hope I still love her when when we're both 18.  If I do, and she does as well, we'll make it, I know.

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So umm I just wanted to like get an update and get more advice! So yesterday I saw him and everything we calm, I honestly don't know what he was thinking, but he did keep like looking at me every time something happened (don't really know what that means) but I just also wanted to say that on thanksgiving I actaully want him to know I have feelings for him but I don't know how to get him to know without me telling him.

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You know, you can make people speculate all you want, but you can't make them definite about it.  I get that you're nervous and don't want to ruin you're friendship and everything, but you've got to take chances.  If he continues to gibe you signs that he does like you, then act on them.  If not, then give him some that you do anyway.  Since in your religion, it's sometumes preffered to do so, then just tell him you do.  Anyway, I hope you can get him to know you do, no matter the way.  If he likes you too, then great.  My biggest question for now is, how good of friends are you? 

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@Together

We may be from the same country! Anyway, I will let you know my story (as a form of advice through my experience). I have been through the same thing this summer where I realized I was in love with my cousin, we're both 21. Usually she had been very shy and didn't say much, this summer however she had changed a bit and wasn't so shy anymore, but still quite shy. I told myself I would not let her be shy and I would go near her often and talk to her and poke her and so on. At the beginning she didn't think much of it, we had been chatting for about 2 years just as cousins and we had both always said that we would never marry our cousins (after our aunts used to make fun of us and say that we'd marry). We surely meant those words and I frankly didn't like the thought of it, though it is very common in my country. To the point though, she started realizing that I was in love with her this summer as I was behaving a little oddly. I would get upset for petty reasons, if she didn't pay enough attention to me etc and I would tell her that I missed her only when I went somewhere (forgot to mention I stayed at her place, with my aunt, during the whole summer, approximately a month).

Everytime someone brought up the subject of marriage with her, especially when it was about either me or any of her other cousins (they love to talk about marriage in my country) she would put stress the fact that she'd never marry a cousin. It hurt me every time the subject was brought up. After about 3 weeks I confessed my feelings to her over SMS. I had intended to say it to her face, but she didn't give me that opportunity. Every time I would ask her to come over to another aunt's place so that I could talk to her alone (which was hard at her place, always someone there), she refused, in a manner like she knew what I wanted to say. Anyway, as I told her how I felt she made it clear to me that she did not feel for me how I felt for her, I was her dear cousin she said, simply.

I told her I realized she didn't feel for me that way but I just wanted my feelings out and that I'd wish we'd go back to normal and she agreed. After that, when I saw her again at her place she acted like nothing had happened! It was relieving but weird, I didn't understand how she could do that. As my vacation was over and I returned to my country in Europe, I started talking to her about my emotions again. She didn't respond to them but she allowed me to let off my steam. I had emotional rollercoasters and often I'd get upset and angry with her for almost no reason. One day however, after I had been waaay too rude to her, I apologized and promised I'd never do it again. It hurt me more than it hurt hear, reading the words I'd written to her. We were good for over a month and a half and for some reason I couldn't take it anymore. The unrequited love, it was too much for me to handle. I told her I wanted to back off and stop talking to her, I needed to "fall out of love" with her. After giving it a day or two she told me that she had been acting selfishly and that she had never even given it a though, the possibility that she might also have loved me. She thought deeply of it and said that I'd been the "most dear" to her and at the later time she had been doubtful whether or not she loved me. She confessed it and now we're doing great!

TL;DR / moral of story Confess your love to him, if he then tells you he does not feel the same way for you, tell him you respect it and you wish only to maintain your current relationship (as merely cousins). Perhaps after a while he will either start feeling for you as you feel for him or he will simply realize that he may always have felt that way (neglecting his feelings as being feelings of love, as I did first and as my cousin had done as well). Plant the seed in his mind, that you love him, and try to act normally after that while letting it grow. Keep being your best self and don't scare him away by talking to him of your emotions.

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So I wrote this on an app an didn't really feel like typing it again on my phone so I just screen shot it!! So I would really appreciate some opinions about if he likes me!! I'm seeing him and his family on New Years to go snowboarding there I'm hoping to let out something's!!

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