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mylifesucks

What did i do to deserve this?

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Hello, i have just joined this forum to get some "helpful" views on my love life with my seconds cousin. On other sites i get bashed saying that loving your cousin is wrong etc But i hope i can get some genuine help fro you people. So, this is going to be a long story since we have known each other for the past 5 years so here it is.

So both our families have been in good contact from the day we were both born. She is 15 years old and i'm 21 years old. We would meet each other at east once in a year and we would enjoy the time we had together and we were quite close and i would like to tell that my family had supported be fully in this matter and her family was also quite okay with this, but also know that we did not directly tell her parents that we like her.

Anyways back to the story, every year we visited her place which is very far from the place im residing, her house is a 1000 Kms from mine and since i love her so much my parents would take me to her place and we would stay there for few days and for the next full year mostly there would be no contact. She does not own a mobile phone not a computer with internet connection, and every year i would call her on her birthday to her parents phone and wish her birthday and talk to her. But the time i had spent with her she would be happy to with me. But all that changed this time. This time for her 15th birthday i wanted to gift her a mobile phone, so i had to travel her place a day before her birthday and i bought a cake, mobile phone and few other stuff and reached her place.

But unlike other times when she came home from school she just talked to me for few minutes and just went to her room and locked herself in for atleast 4 hours without telling me the reason, and when i asked her parents the reason they told she had stomach ache and so she wanted  take rest, and so that full day she did not talk to me, the next day was her birthday and she had school, i told her to take leave but she refused and went to school, before she would take a day off for me when i visit her place but this time she went to school even though it was her birthday, and she came back home only at 3:00 PM and after that at 4 i gave her my present and after seeing she was very happy and both her parents was also quite happy because i bough her this phone with my first salary. And that day we talked for a few minutes and the next day i was leaving the place at 2:00 PM so again i told her to take a day off but again she refused and just went to school and the time she stayed with me also she did not have much interest in me, but i comforted myself and agreed that maybe there was some other problem.

That day, after i go into the bus , i called her to the mobile phone i gave her and told that i boarded the bus and tallked for a few minutes. And the next day after i reached my place, i called her in the evening for the first time but she did not pick up the call but again after an hour i called, the she attended and then i asked her i called her an hour before but she did not answer so i called her now, but her next response broke my heart to pieces, she asked me this exact question "Why are you calling me again and again?" and this was the first time she talked to me so rudely and i was completely shocked but i just left it and told her i reached my place after a 18 hour journey, and told her i will call her during the weekends but she told she was fully busy and told me she cannot talk to me, and she was quite hesitant to talk to me and then she disconnected.

That's it, after months of planning for her birthday and hours of journey and giving her , her most favourite gift i get response. I'm heart broken, this is the first time she acted out like this and now my parents told me to ignore her and just leave this matter. But i love her so much even after this, i don't know what went wrong. But just so you know, i never proposed to her, and wanted to propose to her in few months but now she did like this and even my parents got offended by her actions. What can i do? Was there anything wrong that i did? Please help me, i really want to know how to fix this. And Thank You so much for taking time to read this and im eagerly waiting for your views.

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hello your story is similar to mine and my first cousin who I love very much, the first time we got close he we 16 and I was 20, we kept quite of this for 14 years and we recently told our family, we got married last month and now some family members cant understand why. we have a great relationship and have decided that our happiness and love for each other is worth to much to just let go because of others opinion . We read the Bible and found nothing wrong with it. Your situation is actually allot better because in all states second cousin marriages are allowed, we actually had to go out of state to get married, because here in Texas it is not allowed to marry your first cousin. He is 31 now and I am 34 almost 35 and we live a fun filled live and are extremely attracted to one another.

hope this helps you feel better......

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Thank's for your reply :)

Hope i can have a happy life like yours in future with my cousin too.

In my country, its not odd to marry your cousins and many of them does it and its quite common.

From your experience can you give an opinion?

Now i do not know how to talk to her again, she spoke so rudely and did not call be for the past 2 days.

And i'm worried i will make it worse if i again called and spoke to her.

Just so you know, this is a one sided love as far as i know, at least i did not propose to her yet. Do you see any symptoms of love in this?

I will say i love her very much and will take a stand with her for whatever happens, but i'm not sure if she will say the same?

What should i do?

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I pretty much stopped reading after "I'm 21 and she's 15".  I'm sure she means a lot to you but you need to give her space, let her grow up, and join you in the adult club at a more normal pace.  21 and 15 is just way too big of an age gap (at that age).  I know you don't agree right now and I don't really expect you to.  In 20 years, I'm betting (selfishness aside) that you agree.  More correctly, when you have a 15 year old daughter, I'm positive you'll agree.

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Hello ColoradoMarried, Thank you for your reply.

But i think you will be surprised that i agree with you.

I know she is still young and still does not understand my feelings for her. But now i'm interested in a far more minimum level, "Does she even like me?"

Because i know she does not love me, but our meeting this week has really got me thinking, because she was literally avoiding me unlike all those times.

The first call i made to her after the trip, she spoke quite rudely to me, that does mean anything to you? Is she doing this deliberately to avoid me or just some unexpected mishap?

I can tell you why this is a big issue for me because, we are quite close for the past 5 years and this is the first time she has done like this.

Is it better to avoid her for a few weeks or just call her and tell her my feelings were hurt?

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If I'm understanding correctly, you've never told her in any way that you have romantic feelings for her. Is this correct?

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Yes, i had planned to tell her in a few months, but she and i were always quite close.

I do not know what made her ignore me this time.

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