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My love story with my cousin

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Hello, I have just posted this to get some "helpful" views on my love life with my cousin. This cousin is related to me as such; My Mother's Mother's Sister's Son's Daughter. So, this is going to be a long story since we have known each other from the day we were born. The first time i met her was when she was a 3 months old baby and i was around 5 years old. Both our families have always been quite close before we were born. After the first meet, it took us 10 years for the next meet since we both are located quite far off. We both live 1000 Km's apart. I met her again when i was 16 years old, but i did not have any feelings for her because i did not remember her.

These next few days were the Golden period my life till now. in 2009, The first time i looked her her, it was almost like something entered my body and my mind, i just had a intense unknown feeling that that time. Then we started to get quite close to each other, i was 16 and she was 10. Me, My elder sister, and one of my other cousins, we played and stayed close to each other for the next few days but i on the other side had liked her more than anything so we are particularly close. And i would like to mention here that i never had feeling for any girl till this stage and not even a crush on any other girl, and this feeling was unknown at that time. And then the day came where we had to return back from our holiday trip.

I was devastated, i did not know how to react, during the who trip back to my house i did not speak to my parents not my sister and did not eat a single meal. They were quite shocked, they never expected this from me because i was the one who was reluctant to go for the trip in the first place. And for the next whole month, i did not speak to anyone and i was not myself, they were quite upset in my house, and i did not tell then the reason also, i was quite scared to tell that i like her very much, but after a month they found me looking at her pictures which i took with my phone, and then they knew the reason for my depression. Surprisingly, they supported me and told that i can visit her this summer vacation, and every single day of the year , not a day went past where i did not think about her, but we could not go for various reasons, and i had to wait another year.

But these 2 years for waiting for her made me realize i love her, we talked to each other at least once in an month because she did not have a cellphone at that time, so my parents had to call up her parents and then we used to talk. So, after 2 years again in 2011, i visited her with my family and we stayed for 3 days in her house and we enjoyed every minuite of it, we just used to play game in my laptop, go to the beach near her house, and just talk for hours.

The again in 2012, i visited her, each time my feeling for her increased but only during this age of 19 i was cent percent sure that she was my wife. And again, we did the same stuffs, like playing games , going for walks etc but nothing more than that. And we got quite close, we both know about each other quite well. Like so, the next few years, 2013 and 2014. Both our parents, her parents like me and my parents liked her. All was going very well till this month.

I decided to surprise her for birthday this year, so i planned a visit to her and gift her a mobile phone since she really loved those and i bought her this with my first salary, i'm still in the final year in my college but earned that money my selling a domain and so i bought her a mobile phone.

And on Nov 7 of 2014, i left my place and took a bus to her's. It was an 18 hour journey to her place. Most of the time we would take a flight but this time i wanted to go and visit her with my own earnings and so i took a bus. And on Nov 8th i reached her house, but she was in school, and returned home at 2 PM. This was her 15th birthday, before she came home, i kept the birthday cake and her gift hidden. For the past 2 years of our visit, we watched movies. We both love wacthing movies, so as usual, this time we watched a movie and i told her i that we will go for a walk, but surprisingly she did not come back, she just went to her room and did not come down, her mom called her many times but she did not. And her mom told me she was not feeling well so tomorrow morning you can take her for a walk, and at 8 PM she came out of her room but still did not talk to me , and her parents told me that we can cut the cake next day morning. But she did not take leave for her school. Whenever, i visit her, she used to take a day off and stay with me but this time she told she can't miss classes and went so again i had to wait till 2 PM and then came eat her lunch and then i called and told me to her come her but again after 45 minutes she came and then i gave her the gift.

And when she saw that it was a mobile phone she was very happy and really loved it, and even her parents were very supportive about her and was really happy. And that full day we talked and i told her i would call her ad 7 PM everyday and she was happy. And the next day morning i was ready to leave to my place and told her bye, and during my bus trip i called her at 7 PM and talked to her for sometime, this was the first call i made to her and i told i would call her again tomorrow and 7 PM and then the day came where my heart was broken into pieces.

So, the next day till 7 PM i waited every minute for her call but i called her at 7 but she did not answer, so again i called her at 8 PM and then her mom answered and she talked to me about my trip and if it was comfortable etc. Then her mom gave the phone to her, i told her i reached home but she did not say anything. Then i told her "I called you at 7 and 8, did you come late from your extra classes?" She told yes and then i asked what time she came ans she told "I forgot". I was shocked because i knew exactly what time she came home i.e at 6 PM but she lied to me. But i just left it and continued but suddenly she asked me, "Why are you calling me again and again?" I was very shocked at this stage, because not even once in all the five years i have known her she talked like this, and then i asked if i can call her during the weekends, she told "No, i'm busy during the weekends also" the i told her to send me a message whenever she reaches home. But she just told "I need to go" and gave the phone to her mom.

I was devastated, i never expected any of this, and i really don't know how to react, even my parents know about this and they are also quite shocked. It had been 3 days and still no call her from her, i don't know what to do. My parent's told me to just ignore her and let her call if she wishes.

I'm really confused, why did she react like this? Even the day before when i called her she talked normally and this time she spoke rudely and kept the phone. Did i do anything wrong? Now should i call her again and asked what was wrong or wait for a few weeks? I'm really heart broken and i wish you people can give me some advice. And Sorry, i know this was a very long story but i had to tell you the whole picture so that you can give me some valuable input.  And marrying our cousin is legal and widely done in my country and please don't tell me about the medical problems when a baby is born, because if that's the problem then i don't want baby, i happy just to live with her if she is okay with it.

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i'm not going to tell you about birth defects risks, mainly because they are so low that it's really not a big deal. and it's legal in your country to marry, so that's not a big deal.

what is the big deal is the age difference... which wouldn't be that big a difference ten years from now. but she's 15! she's not ready to settle down. you've already lived your teen years and reached adulthood. SHE needs to be able to do that as well. at 15, girls are just learning about love and emotions, and there are a thousand cute guys out there who are going to get her attention. to her, all the attention you're paying her is probably making her feel suffocated. she may even be looking at you and thinking "he's so OLD!". whatever is going through her head, your attention seems to be annoying her.

and as difficult as that is to swallow, you're going to have to suck it up. she's just not mature enough yet. and don't give me the "she's very mature for her age" spiel, because she's not. period. she's NORMAL for her age. and her reaction to you is just as normal.

give her a few years. go live your life and let her live hers, and try again when she's about 20 years old.

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