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      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

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dusdar

I Want To Forget

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4 posts in this topic

I put my information to here ago.You don't have to read all of them.I will summarise that with new events after them.

http://www.cousincouples.com/forum/help-advice/i-love-my-cousin-help-me-please/

I'm 16,she is 15.We are 1st cousins.Our families live in different cities.We meet together once in a year or once in two year.It continues 1-2 weeks.I met her when we was child.I didn't feel love for her but this summer,I felt love.I felt it was wrong to love a cousin and surpressed myself.After 3 weeks,I couldn't surpress myself.I realized that it's not wrong.

After a week,I shared my feelings with her.She accepted,but after several hours she said"I don't know the reason,but I feel I should end this relationship"(She didn't actually say this,but the meaning is same).I felt really bad.I cry in too bad situtations,I don't like crying.But I cried almost each day for 2 weeks.I tried to forget it,and I couldn't.

That was the summary of the past.Now,I'm writing the recent events.

After some time,I managed to stop crying.I was still thinking her.But I was still feeling love for her.I missed her too much(I have never missed anybody like that).I sent messages everyday(sometimes once in two days).Her mobile internet was over,so we didn't texted for 3 weeks.We could text in normal messages.But I started to think she didn't want to talk with me and I didn't want to talk because of that.

That 3 week helped me so much to recover myself.She used to come to my mind rarely,and surpressing it wasn't difficult.After some time,I managed to convince myself about not loving her would be better.After 3 weeks,her mobile internet came back.She didn't say anything to me.I knew which day it comes.I thought I shouldn't send her a message.Because I felt she didn't want to talk.If she sent me a message,I would text with her with no doubt about her wishes.After a week,I couldn' wait and I texted "Hi" to her.She replied "Hi".Nothing else.I was sad about losing her friendship.I had no doubt that she didn't want to talk.

After a week on that,I watched an anime.After a lot of episodes,a cousin of main character revealed her love to main character.I was shocked.I thought a lot about my cousin and I started to cry again.When I was crying,she sent me a message(I still can't believe the time she sent me message.What a fortuity!).We texted like the past times that we were texting.I realized she wanted to talk.I was happy about that.But my feelings restarted to come back.Now,my situtation isn't improved,I can't forget my feelings.I tried all the ways but I still can't.I hoped it would pas in time,but it looks that the time doesn't work to fix it.How can I forget my feelings,what do you suggest to do?

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Lady C gave you some very sound advice with your last post.  The advice she gave remains solid.

You are 16 and unsure of how to deal with a possible romance that you can't really pursue.

Since you only see your cousin once a year or once every other year, the best thing you can do is move on with your life.  If texting with her sends your emotions into an upheaval, then you should stop.  That may sound too difficult, but it's the best thing.  You have already seen that not communicating with her for a while puts you back into your right state of mind, so since that is a sure fire way to keep yourself under control, that's what you should do.

You are both young and have lots of time to sort out your feelings for one another.  I will not dismiss your feelings and say that you are too young for love; I was in love with my cousin when I was younger than you are now.  But the reality is that you are your cousin are not in a position to explore a relationship with one another - you simply live too far away and don't see each other often enough.  Perhaps this is a crush, maybe it's the real deal...who knows?  But for now, you need to focus your attention on school, working part time, volunteering somewhere, studying an instrument, getting ready for university studies...things that will keep you occupied and get rid of the time to mull over the "what ifs" you are thinking about your cousin.  Who knows, maybe in the process, you will meet some other girl who will turn your head. 

This is my one and only advice about how to forget your feelings:  Stop texting her and get busy doing other things.

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I agree with Serendipity; it's good advice.  Like him/her, I'm not for a minute denying the reality of your feelings.  I fell in love with my first cousin at about the same age, and I remember perfectly how angry it made me to be told "You're too young to know whether it's love."  :evil:  Go back through history, and tons of people have known love at this age.  Check out Romeo and Juliet; Evangeline and Gabriel; Anthony and Cleopatra (Anthony was older but Cleo. was a teenager); and on and on.  However, since you and your cousin see each other so seldom, you'd be far wiser to cool your jets until and unless you're closer geographically.  (Unfortunately, I didn't; the romance died but my love didn't.  I nearly died, in fact.  Thank God, I didn't.)  :cry:  It's a tough situation; you may get over it and you may not.  Try writing about your feelings and experience---songs, poems, short stories, a diary.  Just NEVER show them to anybody.  :lipsrsealed:  But it can help you define where you are and relieve some of the interior pressures you're feeling.

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I had already decided to move on with my life,but I wasn't sure about that.Now,my decision is more strong.Thanks to all of you.

I don't know can I handle this or not,but I have to handle.I will try.

@luvher4ever

I felt a disappointment after they said that first.But now, I think it's true.It's true that the young's behaviours changes a lot,as well as feelings.I know it from myself.I was really different 2 years ago.

Edit:I don't say that I'm not feeling love for her.But I know it can change after some time.

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