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1st cousins in love. Love distance

Guest 1stLove

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Guest 1stLove

Hi. This is my first time posting. I'm glad I found this site.

Our story:

We first met as children. He lives in South America and I live in North America 

We were both young but we instantly felt a connection greater than we had felt.

Over the years I would spend summers there and our bond grew stronger. I didn't think of him as my cousin. He was more than that to me and I knrw I meant so much more to him.

We tired to keep it a secret. Our family wouldnt understand.

Eventually another cousin of ours figured it out but thankfully understood.

When I turned 16 I decided that I couldn't do this to my family and cut ties with him. I tried to forget about him. Tried to get over him.

I eventually started dating someone and had a child at age 18.

After That it easier to move on with my life.

A few years ago we reconnected via email and all those feeling came back.

Now at age 27 I am still so madly in love with him. And he loves me. He never married or had children. He is a few years older than me.

This year we were reunited and it was so beautiful. Our time together was spent getting to know each other since we lost so many years of contact. In the end it was like nothing had changed.

I still fear what the family will say. He says he will wait for me but I don't know how much longer he is willing to wait.

I feel like a coward because as much as I want to be with him. Marry him. Have children together ( he wants to be a dad so badly) I can't seem to find the courage to take that step. I fear losing my family. My daughter.

He on the other hand doesnt care. He says being together is the only thing that matters.

I feel lost. I can only pray I find the courage to speak up and finally be happy with my true love.

Thank u for reading. It's nice to be able to let it out without the fear.

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  • Old Timer

Fear of families reaction is completely understandable, which i'm sure most/all have felt this way  :smiley:

I know the feeling having to let your feelings out because otherwise you'd go insane lol  Sometimes you have to take the plundge if its what you both want, live for yourselves and nobody else. Might seem/sound selfish to some but its not at all.

If they see that your both happy and proud of being together maybe they'll get their heads around it, just takes time.

I hope all goes well for you both, whatever you both decide for the future and good luck  :smiley:


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  • Moderator

You've got quite an obstacle to overcome; he lives on the other side of the world!

This is what concerns me:

I fear losing my family. My daughter.

He on the other hand doesnt care. He says being together is the only thing that matters.

I'm not really sure why you are worried about losing your daughter.  And usually families come around to a point of acceptance.

His reaction is worrisome, though.  Being together is NOT the only thing that matters.  I have kids (albeit they are practically grown now), but when I started a relationship with my cousin, my kids were 16 and 18, and of course I was worried about their reaction (one was a little snit at first, the other was OK, but they're both fine now with it).  But, I would've been worried about bringing any man into their lives - cousin or not.  Your child is much younger than mine, so of course you need to consider him/her in all of your decisions - esp the big ones. 

If you can figure out a way for the two of you to live on the same continent, then you will at least have a chance to see if this relationship can work.  Understand that up to this point you have have the excitement of a "forbidden" relationship to carry you through.  Being together day in and day out sometimes reveals undesirable characteristics in our partners.  It's a risk.  Only you can decide if it's a risk worth taking. 

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