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RaeBabe

Fairy Tale Story, Happy ending???

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I first want to say I am so glad I have found a community where I can express myself freely about my current relationship with my cousin. So to be brief, I have been dating a guy that has been told is my cousin by my family for about 7 years now . I re-met him my freshman year of college at my uncle's church and we instantly fell in love, he was even my first. Before we officially started dating, we met when we were about 10 years old and even then we had a connection with one another before we were told we are related. So fast forwarding to now, we are aware that our grandmother's were sisters, but we found out that my cousin's grandfather was not the biological father of his dad which makes me wonder if we are really that related ( I'm guessing we are 2nd cousins? ) At first I felt our relationship was wrong and I broke it off with him before. But I know that he is the love of my life and I can't change how we feel about each other to the point that we don't see or care about the fact that we are somewhat family. We also want to get married soon and have of family one day ( We live in Texas). Only 5 of our friends that we trust know about us being cousins and NONE of them have a problem with it and even agree that we are truly in love and said they would attend our wedding. We have plans to move in together after I graduate and of course we want to be prepare at that time to tell our family about our relationship. I just not only wanted to tell my story but I also just wanted to hear some advice from people who are have or going the same thing. I love my man sooo much and I will do anything to see that we are together, but I know it will be a shock to our family.

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that would make you (biologically speaking) half first cousins. but sadly, the new law in texas doesn't distinguish between half first cousins and first cousins. (i say new law because cousins could legally marry here until 9 years ago.)

however, you are genetically the equivalent of first cousins once removed.... the biology is the same, even if the terminology is different. first cousins once removed can still legally marry here, but half first cousins can not. (i think. Hawk, wanna verify that for me?)

so perhaps if you wanted to hire a really good lawyer to challenge the law, you might not only win but be doing a favor for cousins in the future.

maybe Hawk can also check to see what the law says about marrying outside the state. i used to know this stuff.

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RaeBabe & LadyC,

At a first quick glance, since that's all I have time for tonight, I found this. It is prohibited for the following to marry: "(F)  a son or daughter of a parent's brother or sister, of the whole or half blood or by adoption."

Sorry. I wish I had better news for y'all...... :(

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well maybe when you have more time you can see what the laws pertaining to marrying outside the state are. thanks for looking it up. you're my go-to person these days!

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LadyC and Hawk, So even though my dad and my cousin's dad are considered "half 1st cousins" because he has a different father and my cousin's dad's mother is my dad's aunt, we are still half 1st cousins? By the way, thanks so much for the information, I'm trying to figure all this stuff out! Also, I will definitely be doing my research about laws in other states, because I know how difficult Texas can be! 

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wait wait wait.... did i totally miss all that? your DADS are first (half) cousins?

then you can legally marry! that would make the two of you SECOND cousins.... no impediment there. whew! i don't know how i missed that. brain fried from holiday prep i guess.

so where in texas do you live? i'm in mckinney, just north of dallas.

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Really LadyC? Mckinney?  :shocked: I knew you lived in Texas, but I didn't know how close to where I used to live you are! We've often gone shopping in Mckinney... in fact my parents and sister went shopping there just yesterday!

Also, I'm glad that how related they are was sorted out...  :grin: I was reading through (just now) and confused at how their grandmas being sisters meant that they were first cousins.

Oh, and If you are related through your grandmothers, would his grandfather's identity matter in this point? wouldn't your grandma's father and his grandma's father have to be different for there to be a half-related effect? my cousin would be my plain old first cousin no matter what mother (well, an unrelated to me mother) he had, but if he had any other father (again, not related to me) then he would just not be a cousin.

I found telling family to be pretty easy in my case, but perhaps that is because I could not imagine my family ever turning away from me for anything. If I made some super bad decisions, they wouldn't be happy about those decisions, but they would still love me. Me loving my (first) cousin wasn't met with approval perse, but they readily accepted the facts and just want me to be happy. His parents were kinda different. He never outright told them, but it certainly was no secret, and his father was not happy bout all our cuddles  :angel: His mom, one thanksgiving sat down with us and asked us what's going on, so we told her and though shocked at how serious it was, also did not reject it and heard us out. Recently his parents asked us if we'd decided anything and to let them know when we do. A casual, friendly, conversation. Nobody that I have told (and honestly, I've told several people just because it's been a large part of my life) has ever been disgusted, it's always been whatever floats my boat :grin: So, from my perspective, telling people really doesn't have to be a big deal, just let it come naturally I suppose? Chances are good they'll be happy for you as your friends are, after the initial shock :azn:, especially seeing how you two make each other so happy.

Hope everyone has a merry Christmas!  :smiley:

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Lady C, No worries, maybe I probably didn't state the relationships clearly in my story, my fault! Good news for us!! I'm sooo happy!! time for me to start planning my wedding! hahaha  :azn: Also, I'm from the Plano/ Frisco area so I'm your friendly neighbor in the metroplex! but right now I live and attend college in West Texas ( I'm sure you know what big 12 school I'm talking about!!) Both mine and my boyfriend's family either lives there currently or is from there as well, so we kinda grew up around each other even though in lived in Dallas.

Dittykins thanks so much for telling your story. I definitely know that my parents love me and wouldn't disown me based on who I'm dating, but I know it will take them a minute to come around. I also feel like that my cousin's family kinda knows about us but is not saying anything. But I still believe that they wouldn't have as much of a issue as my parents will. And your right your friends will be happy for you regardless and telling them wasn't a big deal, because I didn't ask to fall in love with my cousin! But I'm glad everything worked out for you and I'm hoping the same.

Our plans right now are to wait it out as long as we can while him and I get our lives together financially, establish stability and educate ourselves about our relationship; so that we when do tell ( if it doesn't come out sooner :lipsrsealed:) they can disagree with us, but can't really pull us apart because we are consenting adults with our own life and they can give us respect for that. This plan is slowly taking place now, my boyfriend just got promoted at his job as a manager and we are working on getting a place together. I  know that God put us together for a reason considering everything we have been through in 7 years and when we are together we are truly a dynamic duo!     

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RaeBabe where are you going to school in West Texas??

My hubby/cuz and I live in West Texas!!

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must be where steers are painted an ugly shade of orange and have really long horns..... ;)

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LadyC Nooooooooo way!! I bleed red and black all day with my guns up!  Romalee , I'm in Lubbock, Home of the TTU Red Raiders!! I also wanted to mention that my bf is happy I found this community to talk to about us.

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LOL, and i thought the only two universities in this state were either longhorns or aggies! learn something new every day!

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RaeBabe, We are in  Amarillo and I work for the red and black!!!

If you ever get this way let me know!!

Small world.

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