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alyashuinlove

Second cousin marriage in hinduism. please help?

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I love a girl and cant live without her and so does she. We have many moments with each other which is impossible us to forget. I was a depression patient and she bring me out of that. I want to marry her. But here is a problem- she is my mother's mother's brother's daughter's daughter. And our parents are against our relation. Her parents are looking groom for her and may fix her marriage with him soon. I dont know what to do. No one is with me to whom I can ask for help or even share my pain. I am in deep depression now. I cant live without her.  I cant imagine my life without her. I talked her yesterday when her mother was outside her home. she told me her mother asked her clearly and abused her and told her that you are brother-sister. I dont think so. Her sister and my brother have married each other (they eloped) and have a very cute n healthy son. But even they are also against our marriage. There is no one who could understand our feeling. No one. She told me she will talk to her father soon when they returned home(his job is outside town). So I am asking to all of you is there any way to agree them? We are in relation from maternal side not from paternal side. This relation is permitted in many hindus. Why cant we. If you have any link or you know any where in shastra or vedas mentioned that this relation is not prohibited please provide it to me so that she could argue to her parents. please help us please. Would We die just because they follow other rituals? please help us. I am from india (madhya pradesh). She is 24 years old and I am 27. Her father is a powerful man (government CEO). please help.

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alyashuinlove,

You are indeed second cousins. So far as we know, second cousins are legal everywhere in the word. India however is an enigma. I THINK it is allowed, but I'm not totally sure. I will take an educated guess, and say, that if your brother and her sister eloped and got married, then they did it legally SOMEHOW. I think you have at hand better people to ask than us, that being your siblings. You are correct in that you are NOT her "brother" and she is NOT your "sister". I can't for the life of me figure out how such a generally intelligent population such as yours can be so naive as to believe this about cousins. Usually it is reserved for first cousins, but, I see the insanity can go further. If I were you, I would do as your siblings did, and go get married. Ask them how they got away with it, and do whatever they did. Why are they against it? It's ok for them, but not for you? Hypocrites. Take your cousin, elope, marry, and DON'T return. Your family is crazy. Get away now......

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dear hawk thanks for reply. our siblings are selfish people. they will never understand our feelings. in fact they have warned us and family that if they marry we will split. and yes they eloped and accepted by family but her family still abuse them on their back. her father was hurted too much.  thats why we dont want to do so. i have many ups & downs in my life. my life was stucked. my college dropped. but after her arrival i got a motto to do something.

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Hey alayashuinlove,

I don't know about north indian culture. But here in south especially in tamilnadu, kerala, andhara pradesh it's accepted. I heard many ppl around here have married their cousins. Here Law permitts to marry either your mom's brother daughter or dad's sister daughter.

I ve no idea about shaastra or vedas. But i do ve one qstn for you. If vedas doesn't permits these kinds of marriage in hinduism then why south indians (hindu's) allowing such type of marriage.

May be you could explain these things to your parents and gets them convinced. I know Most indian parents are orthodox. But you tell them she is the only one you wanted, who can make you happy till your last breath.

Anything that makes you happy is worth a risk.

It's your life, Not theirs. But before anything, sit and have a conversation with your loved one. Make sure she ll ok with everything.

Good luck!

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