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What are the odds - Cousin couple cousins LOL!


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  • Old Timer

After spending a year on a Genealogy search, a few weeks ago I met a cousin online that shared a GGG Grandfather (we have searched back 7 generations).

Today she asked me if my wife and I are cousins because my wife's father is my uncle on social media.

I tell her the truth and explain to her that we don't flaunt it but we don't hide it either.

She writes back:

Well let me knock your socks off. My husband and I are first cousins too. Same scenario. We didn't grow up together either. He is my 1st cousin on my mothers side.

WHAT ARE THE ODDS!

They must be much lower than I originally thought.

They are also military brats as we are.

Makes you wonder if there is a higher percentage of cousins that are from military families because they don't grow up together but the families are strong and communicate at the parent level often...

Hmmm.

Anyway, it made my year and Happy Holidays to all!

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  • Administrator

probably! LOL, it is ironic, though isn't it?

years ago when mark and i wanted to get married, the preacher was hesitant. his wife looked at him and said "what's the problem? my grandparents were first cousins." that made the preacher think twice and looked into it, and then married us a few weeks later.

after we went on tv (montel williams show), we learned that a couple of kids that my daughters were friends with were the children of cousins.

i think it's not really so unusua. it's just kept under wraps!

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  • Administrator

Interesting! I think C is right. It is kept under wraps. I'm a fairly private person, but my wife liked to tell everyone. I've had more than one red-faced conversation with her over it.

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  • Old Timer

LOL- I have been searching genealogy for awhile now and found a penciled chart of my great grandfather (over 250 years ago) and arrows pointing to either his brother or his cousin that possibly married his wife after he died. We have never been able to figure it out LOL!

It is awesome though to have a relative, a distant cousin to talk to about our lives when we can't really with anyone else about our relationship.

I do believe if I looked around the people I know and in my ancestry that it is much more prevalent than I am currently aware.

So cool to have someone come out and ask who is in the same life LOL!

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  • Administrator

i have a first cousin once removed who married another of my first cousins once removed. they were second cousins to each other. they divorced years and years ago though.

my mom had a brother (one i never knew) that was in love with a cousin. he married and divorced several times because he never could be happy. she never married, because she couldn't have him. they always turned to each other though. as the story goes, they felt they couldn't be together because they were cousins. he died from alcholism. she died a lonely spinster woman. i kinda think their story helped pave the way for mark and i, because all my aunts and uncles who were still alive were very supportive. it's like they didn't want to see what happened to one of their siblings happen to one of their nieces/nephews.

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  • Old Timer

Being that distant cousin who has married her cousin, I wholeheartedly agree, gotitGOOD! It is really great to have somewhere to share with and am glad my curiosity paid off and I asked the question.

I am also curious if we are unique in our situation or if others know of cousins marrying cousins.

WOW! HELLO!

AWESOME!

UNREAL!

WhatRtheodds- really?!!!

Yeah- this is too cool!

I don;t know what to say LOL! For the first time I am at a loss for words- actually I think twice this week- when you first told me about you and yours LOL! My wife is gonna dig this!

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  • Old Timer

I am willing to wager that the odds aren;t that high that distant cousins have married their first cousin but then again with us, I am probably way off base and wrong.

What a shocker!

it is so interesting that you visited this site around the time I did and that you guys got married the same year as we did and that we are of the same generation...

You know, the older I get the more I learn that I know less. I still can't believe this LOL!

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  • Old Timer

T said to me "Could you imagine what our family reunion would be like!"

Then I thought about it...WOW

I told my dad about you guys. He said WHAT? WHAT? NO WAY!

He deals with us but I have heard through others in the family that he doesn't dig it at all.

T said she hopes her dad hears it from mine or someone else because she won't bring it up to him because of how pissed he is about us.

Kinda like having more ammo!

T's son doesn't believe you guys exist LOL!

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BTW, I heard my husband's son accepted it after his fiance' revealed that she had cousin marriages in her family but their family doesn't really talk about it. I guess when we got together her family brought it up to T's son to help him get through his being upset.

So, it really does happen more than we know.

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  • Old Timer

My dad actually suggested we meet up after I told him- he kept saying WHAT? WHAT? NO WAY! ---LOL!

Yeah, we gotta- I think I am starting a new consulting job so not right now but maybe before we move.- My3rd cousin once removed LOL!

Good to hear about your son whatrtheodds!

This still hasn't sunk in fully yet LOL!

...and yeah- the stigma is BS- even worse being compared to gays- not that I am against them I just do not see any correlation.Failed Eugenics and ignorance. I was guilty of it as well intill I ran into T and everything changed.

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  • Administrator

there is no correlation, you're right. and really there's not much social stigma against gays anymore anyway. but really, i hate when people try to compare the plight of cousins and gays.

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  • Old Timer

there is no correlation, you're right. and really there's not much social stigma against gays anymore anyway. but really, i hate when people try to compare the plight of cousins and gays.

I think we have all seen that map that says in these states it is acceptable to marry your cousin but not your gay lover. I have read articles that gay people have made fun of us and explain that they cannot understand how we should be allowed and they not. It is astonishing to me.

Like comparing apples to bananas...

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  • Administrator

they don't take things into context. for instance, history.

historically and worldwide, homosexual marriages were never allowed, until very recent history. (the last decade)

BUT...

historically and nearly worldwide, cousin marriages were never forbidden, until fairly recent history. (i.e. the last 100+ years)

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  • Old Timer

Absolutely! I think I saw somewhere that it's an 8 hour drive between us. Would be something. Ya know gotitGOOD, your Dad is my 3rd cousin. LOL! Tell him that and see what he says. LOL!

LOL- I will as soon as I talk to him next. This is a bad time of year to be headed up into snowland LOL!

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