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Well, I like my second cousin

Guest JengaJuice

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Guest JengaJuice

I'll confess, I was quite surprised that this site exists, but thank God it does! I need help, and this seems like the place to write about it.

I'll start by saying I'm 19, and the person of interest is my aforementioned second cousin, 17. I come from an incredible family, everyone in it is loving, fun, genuine and extremely positive about life. I can't get across how blessed I am from this. A large part of that is my second cousins and their family. I'll be frank, she's beautiful, smart, and amazing in just about every way. I only realized I liked her just recently, and I've been good friends with her, her parents, and her siblings for a long, long time. The feeling I get when I'm around her have started eating me up more and more to the point that it's a mental effort to restrain myself. I was at her house with some friends till 4:45AM last night, and the whole time I felt a burning in my chest as I looked at her. We locked eyes often, more than we ever have, and it almost felt like maybe she liked me too. But we're related, and the risks seem too high.

I know how it works. I'm young, stupid, and many relationships around my age fall apart. What happens if ours does? My relationship with all her family gets damaged significantly, and I can't be around anymore when she is. That, and she is regularly hit on by all sorts of guys. I feel like by making a move, I'm just another guy jumping in the line of many. Part of me is content to merely sit beside her, and be as a close as I can without hurting her or her family. Not to mention I'm on the other side of the country, though I'm returning for school next year.

My Mom has funnily enough encouraged the idea, but I've disregarded as absurd until now. Should I ask for her advice? Should I really push the envelope? Should I wait? I think about it constantly, and I know that I don't want to make the move that only serves my emotions. I ultimately want her to be happy, and I don't want to lose all the fun I have with her and her family.

Well, I've just aired it all out. I like my second cousin, what should I do?

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  • Administrator

nothing wrong with waiting, especially since you're on the opposite side of the country. there is also nothing wrong with letting your cousin know that you're interested.

i think it's awesome that your mom is so open and that you're able to talk to her about things! what a treasure! you should definitely hear what she has to say! doesn't mean you have to take her advice, but why not listen?

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I'll agree with the ladies.

You want to wait, at least a couple years or so, before you take it to any real serious physical level. Let's get her legal, and both of you some education. If your Mom has encouraged the idea, you'd better take full advantage of that fact. If I were you, I'd tell your Mom "You know, you've always encouraged me to see "Cuz" as more than just a cousin, but I've always thought it was crazy and absurd. But, after the good time we had the other night, I did feel a little different, and looked into it a little. So, just exactly what do you mean by encouraging it, and have you spoken to her Mom about it? What do you think the chances of something coming of it would be?" See what she says. You don't say whether Cuz's Mom or Dad is your Mom's (I assume) cousin, but I have a feeling this "encouragement'' out of your Mom didn't happen in a vacuum. Somebody's been talkin'. Probably for a while now. You need to get her to spill, and find out just exactly what all has been said, and may also be being said on the other end....

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