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Guest Udya

Cousin Couple from Sri Lanka

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Hi. Me and my cousin brother (his mother is my father's elder sister) are in a relationship for about a year now. He's 26 and I'm 21. Well I really don't remember anything about our childhood together. Because we didn't meet. Because my mother and my father live separately and when my aunt(his mother) tried to settle down the problem, my father cut down every connection with them and so did my mother. but mom wasn't angry with them. then in 2012 December, my father's family that means my aunts and uncles their children went on a trip. mom didn't participate. that was the first time we met. actually i don't remember my aunt has 2 sons. i remembered only 1 and it wasn't him. during the trip we got quite familiar with each other. and since then i visited his home and sometimes i stayed there for months. in April 2013, we start our affair. No one knew about us. in front of others we act normal, when it's only two of us we act intimate. We both afraid that our parents won't approve our affair. in October 2013 we(mom, my sis & me) visit them and one morning my mom caught us kissing. she act normal in their home but when we came back, my mom scold me. but she didn't say anything about stopping the affair. But vising his house is a big no to me. I think she's afraid that aunt won't approve our affair as well as my father.

My cousin had visited me when there was no one in the house, so mom thinks we have had sex. We have act intimate but we never had sex.

because i'm studying to be a teacher and it's prohibited to marry during studying in collage, we have to wait another 4 year. then he'll be 30 and i'll be 25.

We don't know what to do. We both ok for waiting 4 years. but we afraid that aunt will arrange a marriage for him. in sri lanka matching horoscope is a big deal. in his horoscope it tells that his first wife will die. so he don't want to lose me. I don't know what to do. please give us some advise. We both don't bother about genetic problems.

Please help us...

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Udya,

Sorry it has taken me so long to reply. As it is confusing to follow all of the various laws here in the US, it is even more so to try to follow various laws around the world. I did a brief initial search. Here is a part of the article I came up with.

"In Sri Lanka to quote the Legislative enactments of the Democratic Socialist Republic of Sri Lanka, Vol VI, Page VI / 210, Section 16 a, b and c, no marriage shall be valid - a) where either party shall be directly descended from the other ; or B) where the female shall be sister of the male either by the full or the half-blood, or the daughter of his brother or of his sister by the full or the half blood, or a descendant from either of them, or daughter of his wife by another father, or his son's or grandson's or father's or grandfather's widow ; or c) where the male shall be brother of the female either by the full or the half-blood, or the son of her brother or sister by the full or the half-blood, or a descendant from either of them, or the son of her husband by another mother, or her deceased daughter's or granddaughter's or mother's or grandmother's husband. It basically prohibits marriages which involve incest, those with step-brothers or step sisters, that between uncles and nieces and aunts and nephews."

So, it looks like LEGALLY, first cousins can marry there. However, this is by no means the whole statute, and you would do good to look up these sections of the law there for yourself. I will also link the url to the whole article for your and everyone else to read. It is not exactly correct in some of the percentages quotes, but pretty close. It does have a couple sentences I always totally concur with, concerning parallel and cross cousins. As your sibling parents are opposite sex, you would be considered cross cousins, and therefore not AS "taboo" in Sri Lanka as the children of two brothers. As the article states though, genetically, first cousins are first cousins. The sex of the related parents are irrelevant to the actual amount of shared DNA.

Here is the url. Also note it is from a paper dated 1995...  http://www.infolanka.com/org/genetics/essays/essayrj3.htm

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