Guest Lostonmypath

Please help

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Okay so me and my first cousin were young, I was 17 and she was 20. We ended up making out and "dry humping." This went on for about 3-4 weeks.

She lived pretty far away so when she had to go I was devastated. We both admitted we had a lot of strong feelings towards each other.

Fast forward 7 years later and I am married for almost 6 years now and she is not. I rushed into my current marriage and have fallen out of love with my wife.

I still care about her a lot of course. I just feel that I rushed it and have missed what I should have done. I have 100% VA disability and go to College.

She depends solely on me to go to school with my VA benefits(she does not work). We went down to visit my family for a while and lo and behold my first love is there.

It was awkward at first of course, but then we started laughing and becoming closer again. I have always truly loved her and my heart is breaking right now.

I don't know if she still feels the same way about me. I've caught her looking at me and shyly looking away when I look up. I don't think she would ever tell me

if she has feelings for me. (She is very soft spoken and shy)

I love absolutely everything about her. The smile, the laugh, her personality. I could imagine myself in my 70's with her and she would still look the same to me.

I don't know what to do. I cant just lead my wife on. I care too much to allow that.

We are currently having issues with our marriage and I want her to be able to finish her school and be able to depend on herself. I'm so lost. Please help.

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There's more to it than I stated. It's not just about the physical attachment. It's everything about her. My wife and I are mature people and know that we care about each other.

I know I look like a bad guy and I feel guilty for having these feelings, don't get me wrong.

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feelings are what they are... feelings. they don't make you a bad guy. ACTING on those feelings would be another story.

you need to fess up and tell your wife what you are feeling, and give HER the option of what to do. if she wants a divorce, then give it to her. if she wants to work things out, then you owe her that much, which means you would need to put 100% into your marriage and completely end all communication with your cousin.

if you can't do that, then you should give your wife anything and everything she asks for in a divorce. if you want to start over without her, start from scratch.

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Trust me I would give it all to her. I still care for her and no children.

I want my wife to be happy and we have tried working it out for two years. No contact with the cousin.

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I too, agree with LadyC...

You need to really dig deep and do doe soul searching. Marriage isn't perfect, it takes hard work. The most important thing you can do is be honest with your wife about your feelings. It's too late to go back now.

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Turns out we were ready to go our separate ways. We are still friends and both care about each other.

Thanks for the advice Lady C and others.

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Update. We both had feelings for each other and are currently together and happy. Thanks everyone.

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Update number two. She might be pregnant already. We both said we would be happy. :) Stuff happening that give a few signs. I'll update in a couple of days and tell the news! Thanks for the support everyone.

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She is pregnant! Her mother and my mother will be there to support us. I can only hope others have as much support as we do.

Side note, found emails earlier in the year of my ex wife and another guy she gamed with talking about marrying him and another life without me.

This is part of the real reason I wanted to split up.

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Let me get this straight:  at 2:31AM, you have feelings for your cousin and your heart is breaking about your wife.  By 11:38 PM, you and your wife are Splitsville.  Not 10 days later, you and your cousin admit you have feelings for each other... the next day your cousin may be pregnant, and three weeks later, she definitely is pregnant?

Three words:  That. Escalated. Fast!  :shocked:

Well, anyway, welcome to the site and best of luck to you and your cousin (and your wife and Mr. Email) - congrats on the pending arrival!

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Well, I was trying to work things out with the ex-wife for a year, trying to trust her again. That didn't work out and we both knew it was coming, just a matter or when.

ME and my cousin have had feelings for each other already in the past. Yes, I realize things escalated quickly between us. Lol

Thanks for the warm welcome. We were thinking about moving to Colorado after I complete my Bachelors, or Tennessee as Texas does not allow us to marry.

Even I said the timeline and she agreed it escalated rather quickly. Haha

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