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Soranootoshimono

Second Cousin

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Hello, I am 17 years old and I have the biggest crush on my second cousin. She is 19 and absolutely gorgeous. Ive liked her ever since I was 11. I would love to date her but the problem is what her reaction might be. I don`t want to tell her that I like her and then have her get offended and disgusted by me and think I`m incestous. I talked to my father about it and he seemed to think that she would get offended by it and that it would ruin our friendship forever. My dad once made a comment to her older sister about how my brother and her were kissing cousins... She got incredibly offended and upset by the comment. Does that mean that her little sister aka the girl i like would get offended too? She`s been brought up in a traditional christian family and still lives at home. Should I talk to her about my feelings?

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it doesn't mean anything. and the older sister may have gotten offended because she didn't know what the term meant and thought she was being accused of making out with someone she didn't like.

has this cousin given any hints that she might be attracted to you? if she hasn't, then i'd say keep this to yourself. if she has, then do it in a way that is offhanded and can be laughed off... something like "if you weren't my cousin i'd kiss you" or "marry" you or "date you" and see how she responds.

and remember that there is nothing incestuous, illegal, immoral or anything else wrong with second cousins dating.

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Umm well she's caught me checking her out a few times and she never says anything. Like when she's in a bikini etc. She does things like reach around my back and poke me. Just playful stuff. last time we hung out I caught her staring at my lower face. Lips maybe? She laid her head on my shoulder a few years ago in the car. Her and I are the closest out of her immediate family.

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I think shes made a few flirting passes at you and she might be interested, from what it sounds like. On the other hand, you guys are pretty young, but I never want to be the one to use that excuse because my friends parents have been together since they were 14 and 15 years old! So, with that being said, it is possible!

On the other hand, ignore the older sister. It's not her you like anyways, focus on your crush. Your dad seems to be in support of it at least which is a great start!

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Have you made any attempt to let her know how you feel?

I agree with LadyC, make an off hand comment about your feelings for her & see what happens. Maybe something like 'I hope someday to be lucky enough to find a girlfriend just like you' or heck just tell her you think you have crush on your cousin & see how she responds (this one requires you to be somewhat close to cousins besides her or lol she'll know immediately) the worse that can happen is she guesses it's her, which has complete deniablity if things go badly.

It's always hardest to take the first step, just do it! :)

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