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Never lose faith, follow your heart.

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A month ago I wrote a post on here, seeing advise for the tough situation I was in, (To see my post, look for 'What will my kids have to face because of my relationship). Long story short, my second cousin and I had been dating for over a year, living together for 4 months. His family hated it and his parents basically broke up with me for him. I'm 26, he's 29. We spent Christmas and New Years apart, I went back to Vegas to spend the holidays with my family. While he stayed in Elko. It was the longest 3 weeks of my life.

We still talked everyday and although I knew he was pulling away from me, I never gave up on him no matter how much it hurt. He backed up what his parents had to say and we broke up. After spending 3 long weeks together I drove the long 7 hour drive back to Elko to move out of his place and back to my house in Vegas. The first night I got there we fought like crazy, once we both calmed down I realized I was done, I did everything I could to fight for our relationship and I had had enough. But something has changed in him. As we continued to talk into the wee hours of the morning, he finally started to open back up to me. Expressing how wrong he was to let me leave, how much he loved me and wanted to be with me. How much he missed having our family all together and he missed the sound of kids fighting, laughing, playing in the house. How even when he had his son, things weren't the same. The house felt empty and cold. He missed being a family.

Ultimately, the time we spent apart made him realize he was ready to finish what we had started over a year ago when we got together. He told me he didn't want me to move back to vegas, that he wanted me to stay there in Elko with him and that he was gonna make everything right. We were already engaged 6 months prior to all this happening. I was so done at this point and beyond frustrated that me and my kids had been shuffled back and forth between Elko and Vegas, that I gave him an altimatum... If he wanted me to move back, he needed to not any stand up to his family, but he needed to marry me. He didn't hesitate to say, "I'm ready, let's get married. I planned on marrying you anyways. And I'm ready to tell my family how I really feel about you." It was the biggest relief to hear those words from him. We were married that same weekend at the Little White Wedding Chapel in Las Vegas, on January 10, 2015.

The moral to my story is... Fight for what you love. Never give up faith or hope that something amazing might still happen as long as you love unconditionally. No one knew John better than I do. No one knows me better than John. I never turned my back on him the whole time, even though I was hurting. Love is not selfish, you have to be willing to endure. Your partner may be faced with a bigger battle than you and may night be strong enough to face their fears just yet. Give them time, space, love and support. And most of all... Know your worth! Know how much you have to offer, how much you have offered already and if it's still not enough, then it is time to walk away with your head held high because you did everything you could to make it work.

For John, all he knew was his family - parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles. He was alone, living this bachelor lifestyle and being a single dad on the days he had his son. But he got the taste of his own family and when it wasn't there anymore he missed the little things. Since he said he was ready to do this I have seen him stand taller. He's proud and dedicated to our family and since we got married, he's done nothing but prove to me why I fell in love with him to begin with. He's the man I always knew he could be and he's the husband I always dreamed of.

Not everyone's story ends happily. But never lose faith in people or in how you feel about them. They may need you more than you think. So, do your best and then Give the rest to God. ;)

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  • Administrator

yea!!! congrats to you both!

there may still be some rocky times ahead with family members, but just remember, when you climb over those rocky spots together, you become stronger together, and can survive anything!

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Thank you both, so much!!! Your support and experience helped me get through a lot of it. I cannot express my gratitude enough. :) we wantes to start the new year on a solid foundation, and since we had already been engaged for 6 months, we got married and it was the best decision we could have made.

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  • 2 weeks later...

GirlSaysWhat and luvher4ever,

Thank you both, very much. I don't regret sticking with it, and in our case, John just needed someone to prove they really cared about him and were there for him. Which I was. His family has never been supportive of his own decisions in the last 29 years of his life. I'm happy he found his voice, his faith and was able to do this for himself.

And it's true, luvher4ever, there aren't enough success stories on here, which is why I pray our story may bring hope  to others. That it also may give other people in John's shoes the guidance and strength to follow their own heart, just like he did, and he did so without regret!

Quick update: John and I have not heard from any of his family members, nor have we tried to reach out to any of them. We figure when they are ready, they will come to us. Not sure if that's the right path, but that's what we've chosen to stick with. On the other hand, we have my parents, and a few family members who support us 100%, and a few friends too.

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  • 2 months later...

Thank you so much for sharing your story, it's a huge inspiration to me when I am ready to give up my fight! I'm stuck in a place where I know he loves me dearly but he thinks the relationship is wrong an is scared so has ended it an backed away! U have given me a reason to fight for what I love!

Wish u all the happiness in the world

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  • 1 month later...

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