lilbo23

should i seek a relationship with my 2nd cousin

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Hi everyone I am new to this site and I am trying to get information on should I seek a relationship with my second cousin, the situation is that I have feelings for my second cousin and I think that she has feelings for me also but I am a little nervous in should I pursue this or just let it go. We are both adults our ages are 31 and 40 and I feel that when we have conversations that we connect on so many levels and she always invites me to her house to talk. As far as conversation goes we have not tried anything yet she wants to hang out with but I feel a little nervous about it and for some strange reason I feel like she is the one for me. She has a 11 year old daughter with one of my friends that I hung out with but he has put her through hell ever since they have stopped dating. And I feel that I would be the perfect father figure for her daughter because I am a military vet who has served in the army and she has help me with a bad relationship that I was in during the time and me and my ex are not together anymore so I am seeking advice as should I tell her how I feel about her because we would be good as a couple and I have not been married yet and seeking to settle down and I believe she is the one I should settle down with. I think here mother knows how we feel about each other and I feel she is giving me hints that I should ask her out.

So what advice would anyone give me on pursuing this relationship because I have had feelings for her since I was 17 and she was 26 so do anyone think she is the one for me or should I just let it go any suggestions would be helpful

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Relax. If you care about her and her daughter and you guys hang out and talk a lot, I think it might be time to open up to her about how you really feel. Just remember there is nothing wrong with how you feel about her and there is nothing wrong in pursuing a relationship if you both feel the same way about each other.

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Well, how does she act around you? Wanting to hang out with you is a good sign!

If you're both single adults, there's no reason not to see where things go between you.

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yeah, i don't see any reason why you shouldn't pursue this. once you've hit that 40 year mark in your life, life becomes way too short to waste any more of it!

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hi everyone that has read my post yes she does want to hang out with me and we connect on so many levels that it is scary but she being the older of us as she is 40 and I am 31 I love spending time with her and we have great conversations when we hang out with each other and I think she has the same feelings as for me because she has asked personal questions about my previous relationship that I was in and she wanted to know if me and my ex was still fooling around and I told her no so I look at that as a good sign and she is always happy to see me so I appreciate everyone who has given me feed back on my situation because all the girlfriends that I had and the relationship that I was in me and my cousin get along so well it is like she knows what I am thinking and what kind of person that I am so I will except all the advice that everyone can give me thanks again

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you're welcome :)

now if you'll accept some more friendly advice on another subject....

USE PUNCTUATION. this is a message board, not a text message. when you write one very long run-on-sentence that is an entire paragraph long it is difficult for people to read. you're 31, not 13.

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Ok, so start dropping hints and see where it goes from there. A good one I have heard from this forum is saying "if you weren't my cousin, we'd make a good couple" or something along those lines - there's several variations of it. Compliment her, slowly become more affectionate (maybe adding a  peck on the cheek when you hug goodbye). You guys eventually need to have an honest discussion about where things are going.

Again, at 31 and 40, you guys aren't under obligation to anybody else for what you do with your own relationship. Good luck. I know it's nerve racking to kinda be in limbo like this.

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