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Cousincouples founders??

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I'm confused, why do the founders of this site...give support, advice, a place to vent and their opinion on being in love, romantic with our cousins...the assumption that feelings are feelings and we are not weird, odd or creepy...but, do not use their actual names, instead, going by KC and LC?? I have been through everything on this site and was feeling better about my situation with my 3rd cousin, that I don't have to feel shame, guilt, regret...until, I realized that the founders convey a sense of shame, guilt, regret themselves...by remaining "In the Closet" so to speak and only using their initials...I'm a psychology undergrad and this brought up a bright "red flag" leaving me in even more doubt, confusion, regret...I feel, if they're still hiding...It "must" be wrong???

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i can totally understand your confusion! LadyC is a nickname i have used on message boards and websites for years, because "christie smith" is just too common a name and is usually already taken. so over the years, this is what i've become known by on many forums, including worthychristianforums.com, a christian website where i've engaged in some very productive discussions studying what scripture has to say regarding cousin marriage. the nickname is not because of shame by any means. i've represented this site (and the former sister-site cuddleinternational.org, which i merged with this one years ago) on national television (shows include 'the pulse', a show that used to be hosted by fox news' shepherd smith, 20/20, where i enjoyed sharing pizza and small talk with john stossel from abc news, and the montel williams show), international radio programs, and in newspapers (chicago tribune) and magazines (discover and time). i spent many years dedicated to trying to change laws by calling and emailing states representatives. i still have a t-shirt that no longer fits me that boldly states "i married my cousin, got a problem with that?" that i used to wear in public.

here's a clip from the 20/20 program that includes my husband and i renewing our wedding vows, and also features another cousin couple who used to be active here.

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You would be well advised to use a nickname on each and every message board you may post to on the internet. Otherwise, everything you post can be pulled up with a simple Google query.

"LadyC" has been on Montel Williams multiple times. She isn't exactly in hiding as you imply. As for myself, I generally use a nickname everywhere. I have, however, used it publicly in syndicated newspaper articles about this website. It can be googled.

I guess this site has been up for 17 years or so now. We are simply prudent, not ashamed. I personally don't want my life's history available to every Tom, Dick and Harry out there who can peck on a keyboard.

Frankly, I think you are full of beans. As 3rd cousins, you could be less related than that of random pairing. You guys do not need support, you need to get a life. If you want to feel better about your relationship I suggest a 1st or 2nd cousin. You are a solution looking for a problem. I bet you find "red flags" in the shower. You don't need to study psychology, you are the client. If you can't deal with dating a 3rd cousin, how are you going to ever help anyone else overcome anything? You are going to do more harm than good. How many credits do you have now, and what is your GPA? I would love to know. Maybe I will hack into Phoenix Online tonight and find out.

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LOL had you forgotten how many i did? i thought the list looked kinda smallish.

there've been others from here as well. kathy and dale hollenbech did some interviews, and were seriously considering doing a reality type series (docudrama or whatever they're called) that would focus on their marriage, until he was killed in a motorcycle accident about 15 months ago. very sad. kathy is still reeling from the loss of her husband.

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Way to go KC and LadyC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so proud to be a member here! 

HUGS

Nat

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And this is why I absolutely fell in love with this site and its community!!!

KC, LadyC and Nat are all people I admire and turn to for valuable advice. I have yet to disagree with anything they have to say. I think everyone here is more honest, genuine and straight forward than most of the world around us. It's rare to find honest people and life, and lets keep it real here... how many relationships out there are "honest" relationships?? Hardly any now days. We all may be involved with our cousins on here, but we are all open, honest and genuine about our cousin-relationships. The rest of the world could learn a thing or two about life and love from a cousin marriage. None of us have anything to hide, none of us are ashamed, and we most certainly don't care what anyone else thinks of our relationships.

Here's a prime example, I just recently married my second cousin. His parents said what we're doing is wrong and forced us to break up. We knew it wasn't wrong, we're 26 and 29 years old, perfectly capable of making our own decision. However, it pissed me off that they could sit there and tell me what I was doing was wrong, but his dad saw nothing wrong with the fact that he cheated on his wife. Yet, WE are the ones in the "wrong"?!?! I don't think so. Moral of this... the ones pointing the most fingers, are usually the ones who have the most to "hide" or be "ashamed of".

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I don't get your questions, OP - who uses their real name on any forum?  :huh:

I'm just extremely grateful that this site is here, period.

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Chance,

    You say you are a "psychology undergrad".  Surely by now you realize that there are a LOT of strange, misguided people out there.  Do you think it is a good, practical idea to post actual names on a web site?

    I have no degrees but I do have an education.  I promote a book that helps people deal with others.

It is NASTY PEOPLE:  HOW TO STOP BEING HURT BY THEM WITHOUT STOOPING TO THEIR LEVEL by Dr. Jay Carter.

    Dr. Carter is an expert on bipolar disorder and bullying.  He has a seminar on line which is very, very good.

    I suggest you join our site and come to the chat room.  We are supportive and encouraging.

    HUGS

    Nat

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I'm confused, why do the founders of this site...give support, advice, a place to vent and their opinion on being in love, romantic with our cousins...the assumption that feelings are feelings and we are not weird, odd or creepy...but, do not use their actual names, instead, going by KC and LC?? I have been through everything on this site and was feeling better about my situation with my 3rd cousin, that I don't have to feel shame, guilt, regret...until, I realized that the founders convey a sense of shame, guilt, regret themselves...by remaining "In the Closet" so to speak and only using their initials...I'm a psychology undergrad and this brought up a bright "red flag" leaving me in even more doubt, confusion, regret...I feel, if they're still hiding...It "must" be wrong???

"Chase", thanks for your question.  I can't/won't speak for others, some of whom have already spoken for themselves and even pointed out that they have made their real names and even faces available, connecting the dots on national television.  However, I can offer at least a little insight from my own personal and professional perspective.

In my particular line of work, I find it very prudent to remain (practically) anonymous on every Internet presence I maintain, whether it be this forum or any other.  I also do so when dealing with the media, whether it be discussing this topic with writers at national newspapers or discussing other, unrelated topics, with writers of nationally distributed magazines.  I am very difficult to locate and identify online and that is by design.  On the other hand, the writers of those articles and my fellow admins on this board DO know who I am and quite a bit about me.  I choose whom to trust with my identity and have so far been a fairly good judge of character.

So, no, it's not necessarily that we're ashamed or feel guilty - I've been married for probably longer than you've been alive so I can assure you that there's no shame or guilt in my marriage.  However, the last time some knucklehead accidentally posted my wife's name on a public forum (thinking they were doing a helpful thing) it connected the dots back to me and my family's lives and safety were threatened and endangered while I was in a place to do absolutely nothing about it.  Hopefully, as you progress in your Psychology education, you'll learn that there are some truly evil people in the world... and by "evil" I mean something that I honestly hope your young life hasn't prepared you to even consider.  THAT is why online anonymity makes sense.  Not shame or guilt for something as comparatively petty (and perfectly normal and acceptable) as being in love with your cousin.

Best wishes,

CM

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