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superabs101

Told My Cousin About My Love For Her Today

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Hi guys-

            Well today me and my cousin were texting and we were telling each other secrets like she told me all her secrets and i told her all of mine, anyway she told me so do u have a crush and never told her about it !  Like that moment i thought she might want me to tell her about my love for her i told her that ya i do but I'm really scared to say it because it might sound weird she told me you know you can tell me anything!! That's when i saw the opportunity to tell her that Ive loved her for 2 years and always and have been for so long and that's exactly what i did i told her all of my feelings towards her i told her I'm sorry if you'll feel weird she says no its not weird at all and its OK!  She says like that shes speechless and that i left every girl in the world for her! Then she says your an amazing person and that she loves me and I'm more than a cousin to her I'm her best friend and we can talk about anything to each other.  Then she says that don't worry nothings gonna change between us but she doesn't think of it like that then she says there's obviously know one better than you and i love you so much.  Then she apologized and said like I'm really sorry and i don't want you to be sad at this!  I told her to be honest im verrry sad she said please don't be sad! Then she went to sleep and we were gonna continue tommrow beacuse it was 7am!  So we talked the next day and she said are you not sad i told her i still am she says tell me more things if it makes you feel better then i sent her a loooong message explaining my love for her even more, she then replied like awww thats soo sweet she says i love and appreciate those feelings that you have for me and i love you sooo much but i just dont think of it that way like shes really sorry!!!

        Like this hit me hard like really hard like ive been crying all night beacuse shes the love of my life and i know i meant to be with her im 19 and she 21 and we always text for 2 years we've been texting like in a flirtatious way for that long and since ive finally told her i wish i didn't beacuse i feel soo bad and i feel like crap :( i feel like im dying inside :( She says that its not gonna be weird or awkward between us beacuse im still her faviorit and that she loves me and that our relashionship is soooo strong that nothing will happen to it!!

        I want to know if i should give up or continue to love her like should i keep fighting for her love or should i not beacuse i dont know if i can not love her the feelings are soo strong i just cant see my life without her please someone help me give me advice and help me through the worst time in my life please :(  thats a pic of me and her below !

                                                                               

       

                                                                                                                Help Thank you :(

             

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I think you should give up trying to woe her and be grateful for the relationship that you currently have with her. She has told you how she feels and that she doesn't want to change how your relationship is. If you try to change it you could well alienate her and end up with nothing at all.

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Keep fighting for her !!!! what ever you do keep fighting for her unless she ends it ! I am Irish and fell in love with my Canadian cousin  over  20 years ago. I never told her how I really felt about her , I have regretted it ever since. I think she knew how much i cared for her, as much as you could say in a kiss...  Now she is married to someone else and has children, but I  still love  her. Biggest regret of my life not fighting for her !! It hurts just thinking about it.

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Accept what she says, thank her, say you love her too, and be grateful you've got her. Her reaction was so encouraging. I know it's short, but it's sweet. If you really love her you'll give her that much. And then there's always hope.

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My Dear, you need to learn from this experience!  You told her that you loved her and "always will" before you even had a date with her?  Then you sent her a looonng text msg, again declaring your love?  You have got this all mixed up. 

Firstly, don't say 'I Love You' for the first time through a text.  Those are words that need to be spoken.  And don't tell a girl you love her before you have even had a date with her!

Secondly, your looonng text msg probably seemed desperate and needy - two characteristics that are never attractive to a woman.

You have blown this one and you need to cry a little, get it out of your system and move on.  And next time you meet a girl who makes your heart go pitter-patter, slow down a little before you overwhelm her with declarations of love.

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I disagree with Serendipity...

Your cousin's reaction looks like a positive one...she probably still needs more time to think about it. Just keep talking to her more (about regular stuff, not necessarily about your love) and perhaps bring it up again sometime later. I'd recommend trying to get together more often rather than just texting.

Also, you don't really NEED to go on a date to love someone. They might have spent some time together in person as well...he did post a picture of them together, so it's not like their relationship has been entirely texting. That said, I'd recommend spending more time in person...

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I disagree with Serendipity...

Your cousin's reaction looks like a positive one...she probably still needs more time to think about it. Just keep talking to her more (about regular stuff, not necessarily about your love) and perhaps bring it up again sometime later. I'd recommend trying to get together more often rather than just texting.

Also, you don't really NEED to go on a date to love someone. They might have spent some time together in person as well...he did post a picture of them together, so it's not like their relationship has been entirely texting. That said, I'd recommend spending more time in person...

I agree with this from gryan. Some people or maybe most, need time & space to think things through. So its early days really  :smiley:

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I also agree with Davy, gryan, and nessa76!

You should keep fighting for her. If she's really the love of your life then why not fight for her. Although, you should just give her some time right now like they said before. She didn't respond negatively to your response of how you truly feel about her so that means she must have some sort of feelings for you. She may have kindly rejected you but I've been in this type of situation before. I've kindly rejected people but after that I would sort of avoid them because I felt awkward around them. It doesn't seem that way with her at all. Just keep being there for her as a cousin for now... keep getting closer and closer to her. Try not to bring up anymore feelings for awhile though. And I'm sure in no time she will be falling for you as hard as your falling for her. It's like when you fall in love with your best friend. You don't plan on it, you simply got close to each other as just friends but eventually feelings will emerge.

You definitely can fall in love with someone by just texting or writing them all the time. You don't need to see a person and spend time with them a lot to fall in love. It's their personality (who they are) that you are falling in love with not their looks or their presence.. although that has something to do with it too. But I think falling in love like this is stronger, because you actually get to know the person better and fall for them and when you do see them in person that love you feel for them gets 100x stronger.

Just give it some time and don't feel bad. It could have went way worse, but there is still hope for you  :cheesy:

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Also, you don't really NEED to go on a date to love someone.

You definitely can fall in love with someone by just texting or writing them all the time. You don't need to see a person and spend time with them a lot to fall in love.

Yeah, but Serendipity was only saying not to tell them via text or before a date. I think this is sensible advice but it's too late for that now. Give it some time, then see how you feel and whether it's worth pursuing this more. By fighting for her you're risking the chance of alienating or annoying her when she's already made her feelings clear.

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Yeah, but Serendipity was only saying not to tell them via text or before a date. I think this is sensible advice but it's too late for that now.

I'm not saying it wasn't good advice. Serendipity gave great advice, and she's right, telling someone over a text isn't the best way but when it's your only choice you have to. It's either that or waiting till you see them again (which might be for a long time) and then it might be too late. Although he could have called but maybe he felt scared to call. But either way the feelings are out there now and I think you're right... he needs to just give it some time for now.

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Man, i can tell you from self-experience, don't ever say that you love her again to her.

My life went wrong when i told her this. Just stay low, think about something else.

I don't want you to end like i did, so give her time, talk with her, but not so much.

You can follow my advices, or you can do what you want.

Anyway, i wish you all the luck, you are gonna need it.

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From a woman's point of view, fellows:  When a woman says ,"Awww, that's so sweet" to a declaration of love, you need to pick up the pieces of your broken heart and move on.  She is definitely not interested.  :grin:

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Man, i can tell you from self-experience, don't ever say that you love her again to her.

My life went wrong when i told her this. Just stay low, think about something else.

I don't want you to end like i did, so give her time, talk with her, but not so much.

You can follow my advices, or you can do what you want.

Anyway, i wish you all the luck, you are gonna need it.

Different people react to things differently...it also depends a lot on your relationship with them in the first place. Like in your example, you guys were not nearly as close as the topic creator's relationship seems to be.

I think her reaction was a positive one, just keep spending time with her (preferably in person) and just have fun...probably don't bring up the love thing for some time but eventually remind her and ask her how she feels.

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Different people react to things differently...it also depends a lot on your relationship with them in the first place. Like in your example, you guys were not nearly as close as the topic creator's relationship seems to be.

I would argue that it's irrelevant how close you are with them in the first place. Anything can happen to any relationship. It can be a false sense of security to think your cousin relationship is invincible, it will hit harder if things turned sour. I think it depends on the two on an individual level. If you both deal with it well it won't be a big deal. It could be quite possible though that she comes away from this with a positive reaction, and it's the OP who is the one that takes the relationship downhill from here, even though that's the last thing he wants to do... it can be out of ones control. For example, if you're feeling depressed on a day to day basis because of this person, you might not seem very positive when you actually hang out with them.

What Serendipity said is a hard truth in this story. In Superabs OP he said it's the worst time of his life, he feels like he's dying inside, etc. And he hasn't posted back. This is going to be a hard time for him. So best wishes to you Superabs, I hope you and your cousin are able to maintain the good relationship you've always shared.

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I think you should give up trying to woe her and be grateful for the relationship that you currently have with her. She has told you how she feels and that she doesn't want to change how your relationship is. If you try to change it you could well alienate her and end up with nothing at all.

X2

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Continue talking to her and convince her if you can. If you cannot, I will suggest both of you to activly call of even the current relationship otherwise you would no be ever be able to pet her go and move on in life. In my case, i had to wait for 3 months after finally proposing (after 3 years of being really close friends) to hear an Yes from her. There is no looking back after that, and i married her despite all the social / family consequences. Now our familes have accepted this marriage, although there are many relatives who have stopped speaking to us. Looking back, i feel our decision was right and neither of us would have managed living separately.

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Dont ask questions about this. Every person replying back to you is different, so are you and so is your cousin. You should be makimg your own decisions. DO what you think you should do, not what others tell you to do

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joel perez. please note the OLD date on this thread.

The OP is probably never coming back and won't see your response.

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Well I got the same problem too. I'm 17 & my cousin is 15. She was always my favourite and still is, except for the fact that I think I'm in love with her. She is like the hottest and sweetest girl I know and I've been with her since I was 6.( she lives down the lane u see). I told her my feelings once and she just kissed me and told she has the same feelings. It's certainly not lust or just to have sex. I think it's because we both are the only childs. Of our families. Any way love her as always and I hope to have her as my best friend.

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Don't give up! Deep down she has feelings

For you, she just doesn't know it yet...

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I agree with this from gryan. Some people or maybe most, need time & space to think things through. So its early days really  :smiley:

I agree. My cousin pushed things a little quicker than I was ready for. It took me a while to process everything and be ok with it. I am glad I did seems we both push and pull each other along now in a good way.

I think love is an over used word. Show her with your actions how you feel. Back off a bit on the full court press to win her over. Be there for her work on building the friendship. She is already comfortable with you that is an excellent place to be build on it.  Have patience, if you push her to a yes or no answer your doomed.

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I swear to god the same thing happened to me, we were texting about secrets and then she told me her crush and then it was my turn so I told her she was the one and it turned out she loved me back and the guy that she told me she had a crush on was fake and we fell in love and I'm 13 and she's 13 and I love her sooo much and don't regret that u told her u love her cuz one day u guys might get married

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I think the worst one can do is to become pushy, it's not letting the person space and time to think things through properly.

Also, you don't want to come across as desperate either, that would definitely drive one away forever  :laugh:

nessa76

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