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Guest bunnyveil

Not sure what to do

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Hello everyone.  So, my cousin and I have both told each other that we want to be together. But, we live in different states.  He is willing to move for me, but im scared it wont work out and then become a huge mess. He keeps telling me to have faith, but its really hard.  I'm really pushing him away now. How am I supposed to handle this?  I'm 30, he is 45. We were so close when we were younger.  After the age of 6, my dad stopped taking me to my grandparents and we haven't seen each other in over 20 yrs.  It was pretty an instant connection again with him, and we both confessed we never stopped thinking about the other one. Both of us are hurting so badly right now because I don't want a huge mess. I have no problem with just going for it, I'm just worried about consequences.  We are so different anymore.  He has lived in a super small town his whole life, while I got out and moved to the city. He says he has no problem and will adjust to my fast paced life. That seems to be the excuse I'm giving him too. That it wont work because of our lives being polar opposite.  I really do want this to work though, I'm just lost...

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I know exactly what your going through. I can only speak for my situation. I was only living an hour away from my cousin and I'd come down every once in a while. A little over a year ago I decided to move back to our hometown, since he had a great job. I found a house we could rent, everything was perfect! We were finally together, happy, very much in love. What is currently going on now after over a year of living with each other, he misses his friends that he stopped hanging out with because of us. He is wanting to find himself again, and won't be intimate with me anymore. Our family knows about us, and recently I found out more people knew about us then I knew. It was like a weight lifted off for me, but no one has talked to him about it. He hasn't talked to anyone about it in 5 years. I see the turmoil  he is in, and I'm hurting just as bad as I type this to you. We are in love with each other, and he wants to marry me so bad, but doesn't think we can because we are cousins. He has no clue, even after reveling to him what I know. So right now I'm still in the same house with this roller coaster of emotions every day for almost a month. I feel as if I need to go back KC, but I don't want to leave him, I wanna keep fighting, but I'm hurting myself at the same point. Maybe your cousin can move closer to you, but I wouldn't recommend moving in right away. Date and see were things are. don't just take his words for it, or your heart as well. You need to see how serious this will get and what he is willing to stand up and fight for, same for yourself. I fell for my cousin really hard this time, and by believing he would stand up for us, his promises are starting to fall through. He has told his parents, aunt and I that he loves me so much he'd marry me, but he is at a crossroad between if what we are doing is right or wrong now. This is my consequence. I'd say you give it a shot for sure, I wouldn't pass this moment in your life up, but don't move in together yet, give it some time. BTY my love and I are also both 30. Him and I didn't grow up together, and we are First cousins. You mentioned:"He has lived in a super small town his whole life, while I got out and moved to the city." We are the exact same way. I got out of here moved to a big city, and it changed my life positively, Made me look at the world differently and more open minded, however he has never moved form this place, and doesn't want to be rejected by his friends..... even though he said he'd fight for us no matter what anyone thought. Just be cautious.

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