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do cousin relationships last longer? are they worth it?

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due to the prejudice many cousin couples endure, are these types of relationships more genuine? are they real love? and do they last longer than non related couples?

I'm 20 yrs old. and he is 19. He lives in nicaragua and I live in the US. his dad and my mom are siblings. he grew up with his dad's side of the family ( my mom's side). I didn't. i've been visiting them every summer since i was 5.

I had great friendships with our other cousins, but not with him, i barely spoke to him as kids, i only knew he was my cousin but we had no friendship with him...

the summer of 2012 i was 17 and he was 16. I traveled for one month to nicaragua, i hadn't visited my family since 2010. When i saw him that summer of '12 I was shocked. he was grown up no longer a boy and very handsome.

I didn't speak to him because I felt shy and intimidated I started to develop a crush on him. He started to talk to me and we started a friendship, we got to know each other more and it was nice. I was afraid of my feelings and i didn't want to lose our new friendship. I was in Nic. for a month, in july I went back home to the US.

from july to august we kept in touch, texting, talking on the phone... he used to tell me he missed me and wanted to see me soon. in september he finally admitted to his feelings, and i admitted to mine. it was then we decided to start a long distance relationship;. I expected this to last 2 weeks the most.

2 months into the relationship he told me about his family problems and how he used to smoke weed, drank, and smoked cigarettes. he said he was trying to leave all that behind.

around december I found out through another cousin that he was going out with other girls while "being with me".... we broke up like 3 times.

in march of 2013 I went back to Nic. for spring break. it was the first time i was seeing him now that we were a couple. it was weird at first. by now I was 18 and he was 17.

we tried to keep iit on the DL.... but we were hanging out together so much that our family started to suspect and rumors rose from this.

on august that year an aunt of ours died and I flew back to Nic. for another week and more rumors rose about him and I.

In january of 2014 I started college in Nic. living in our aunts house, and more rumors and his parents found out and they told my parents and they made a big scandal that my parents went to Nic to pick me up and take me back home to the US.

many of the rumors are sorta true, but we keep denying we have anything. but they seem like they don't believe us.

my mom said if the things they tell her turn out to be true, she's going to feel betrayed by me.

we keep at our relationship, although we've had problems and I have trust issues everynow and then about his drug problems, he says he drinks every once in a while and smokes cigarettes. and i don't like that. he says he wants to stop.

before me he was also a womanizer, dating many girls at once and even sleeping with girls who weren't even his girlfriends.

but he says he never loved any of them until he found me.

and that he's never cheated on me.

although everynow and then i hear rumors that he's going out with women.

we\ve never had sex. we've kissed and done other things but not vag intercourse.

soemtimes ii'm afraid he might cheat on me.

our family is against us with all the rumors.... they barely speak to us even though we keep denying.

so my quesiton is,

is this all really worth it?\

should i stay with him?

do these types of relationships last longer?

p.s. i've never broken up with him. it's always been him who breaks up with me.

recently last month we broke up for a week because he said he was confused about what he felt and had family problems.

this year will be our 3rd year together


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i need you to read what i have to say objectively.

are cousin relationships worth it? do they last? well sometimes yes, sometimes no. i've been married to my cousin for 16 years. yes, it has been worth it. but we were in our 30s when we got together. has we fallen in love sooner, it probably would not have worked.

you and he may have a three year history, but you're both still very, very young. and the issues you are describing indicate a lack of maturity. don't take that wrong, i'm not saying you're immature, i'm saying that neither of you have enough relationship experience at this point in your lives to have a strong shot at making this last.

look at the things to overcome here. it's not just parental objections. he has habits you don't like and expect him to quit. drugs are a deal breaker, but are you really going to object to his having an occasional beer? i can see the cigarette thing being a deal breaker only because of the smell (and the taste when you go to kiss).

so the real question isn't do THESE kind of relationships (i.e. cousin relationships) last longer, but do ANY romantic relationships at the age of 19 and 20 last longer.

and the answer to that is, the chances are very slim.

don't rush things. live your lives, date others, enjoy college, learn a lot, and in about five years or so, re-evaluate things. if you want to make a go of it then, you'll have much better odds.

you say he was a womanizer before he met you. LOL, sorry, but that was when he was 16. he wasn't old enough to be much of a womanizer for very long back then. i'm sure he did experiment with several girls... and wouldn't be surprised if you're right about the rumors. after all, he's sexually experienced and is unable to get that kind of satisfaction from a long distance relationship with someone he's only kissed, especially when even THAT is not currently possible.


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Thanks for answering! i've been wanting to have sex with him, but i'm afraid it'll get awkward or he will get over me.

I don't know what to do! i feel like I do love him, and i'm afraid of letting go of him because I fear he'll find someone new and forget me or get pregnant and move in with his life.


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never let the fear of losing someone motivate you to have sex. that's almost a guarantee of losing him. so my advice is don't, don't, don't!


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