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      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

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cowardly

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So... I need help on surviving this intact.  I connect with her on every level.  Spiritually... Our respective beliefs are compatible to each other, but not to other people's... Physically, she's the most beautiful woman I know... Intellectually, emotionally, we even have similar tastes in music art and movies...  The problem is, she doesn't know, or if she does, she pretends not to.... Either way she does not feel the same.

How do I get over this?  We would be perfect together, but right now my only hope is to lead a good life, and let her lead hers? with someone who is a lot like me, only worse....

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you would only be perfect together if she felt the same way towards you. sometimes all those things in common just aren't enough, and then it would be a disaster together.

and... as much as you don't want to hear this, what YOU see as someone "a lot like you only worse" may be "a lot like you only better" in her eyes. no offense, but it's a little narcissistic for you to assume that she couldn't do any better than you. if she finds someone like you and there is a MUTUAL romantic attraction, then plain and simple, he's got an advantage over you... he's better for her than you.

if that happens.

how to survive this intact? by accepting the truth in what you just read, and caring enough about her to let her find someone who is perfect for HER. the longer you focus on your own feelings (i believe the term is ego-centric) the more this will crush you in the end... and fyi, the further it will drive her from you.

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